How IndiBlogger Helped Me

How did IndiBlogger help me ?

       Let me take a look at the past, most probably 2 years ago , in 2010 when this blog was made , so much of an awesome birthday ha. Why did I start blogging? I think I forgot if I even had a blog back then in 2008. Nevertheless, they say when you feel heartbroken your feelings flow out so well. Maybe thats what actually brought me out into blogging again. All those feelings unexpressed and untold to anyone , they just needed to be poured out somewhere safe and sound. Never showed this to anyone actually , never wanted to show my blog to anyone.

         Back then I used to be online almost all the time and I used have my old phone in my hand all the time , darn I miss my Nokia 6210 Navigator , it was one of those one of a kind phones that I've never seen with anyone else. It used to be on TV ads back then cause of Nokia Maps. Will talk about phones elsewhere or else I'll start diverting like I always do and end up writing what I never intended to. Now now , since I had the phone with me all the time and I loved its keypad , easy to type and I was so in sync with it , slide and type without looking at the keypad. The thing is that since it was easy to type, I used to type all all of those lines that flash by my mind instantly into a note on FaceBook. A few lines a may come by and then I try to complete it with matching words. You can check my old blog posts of 2010 n 2011 to see what I used to write, usually poems , and well none of them have been viewed much either, counts from 0-7 maybe.

        I first found the Indi blogger badge on my bud's blog , well it was cause of her only that I'm writing like this now I guess. It was the India map with a ranking like 73/100. I felt it was cool and registered and got one for myself. And at that time it read in 70's and 80's. But then I never knew about how ranking worked here. Always was confused how they ranked , felt that 80+ rank is so poor and need to improve , cause my friend seemed to have in 70's and she wrote way better than me. You know how kids think na , rank 1 was my aim then. Though I knew there were hell lotta better writers out there. But the badge was quite an asset , made me feel the blog looked quite attractive , some widgets tend to attract me.

       Well since the badge was all I cared then I never knew anything about the site or what was there , dunno if they had IndiVine and forums back then, I never really saw or remember seeing them. And I used to write all those poems in notes in Facebook and then one day when I log in from PC , I would usually copy paste them all over here making the necessary corrections in spellings as I used too much of my well known short hand , among my friends. Still many of the blog posts may not be completely rectified. I shall rather not encourage anyone to read them , as you may find it a bit irritating if you are not used to short hand , but well I corrected most to understandable levels if I'm right.

        Last December brought me back to IndiBlogger , the ranks weren't working on my blog , so came back to get the code and found lot of difference here. Saw so many new features and thought I should see them too. Well it was indeed a good thing , and the contests caught my attention , but never was so sure about how it would work out. And the forums there are pretty interesting and informative as well. Though I don't have a habit of interacting much with people, which is a bad thing, I like the posts there and really wish to interact more over there and make new friends.

        IndiVine definitely has helped in getting my posts being read by a few people at least and for that I'm very thankful to IndiBlogger. For 2 years a blog had just one reader, now seeing new readers is a delight. And comments are always nice and inspiring, positive ones do keep inspiring but really I need to be corrected if I'm to get any better than what I'm now, which I think is necessary to be at least a good blogger. So please do correct or make suggestions, you don't have to worry na , I'm open to all corrections. And well I don't have much of a reading habit but will try to read whenever I can , sorry about having no time.

         I still remember hearing this , "Write to be heard, not to make money and fame" , guess its the truest thing out there for a blogger. Whether to post this on IndiBlogger or not is doubtful question in my mind. Maybe I'll just leave this for just the followers to read. It ain't about getting votes on IndiVine that matters , its just that I really wish someone to read, but having said so, getting 0 votes in IndiVine just means none even saw such a post existed right? Maybe it was cause of the wrong timing I chose to post that blog post.
Well wrote this to show How IndiBlogger helped me be better , in a lot of ways, like writing more to be heard, getting to know more about stuff, reaching out to the people and so  much more. So well I'm so very thankful. And I wish I could do something very useful too one day. 

Anything for a Friend

   
               Well what can you possibly do , when you are just too darn confused and lost with everything that's going on around you. You are just left with thoughts or confusion about what as to what you should do. But then again you really wish you did something that was pretty useful for you and all that are concerned. Still people are selfish and just think only about their needs and requirements, its always been like that. I can't even claim to say I haven't been that selfish either, but usually when I think on a matter I try not to be cause I usually think how others feel first. Which maybe the biggest mistake I make in my life cause none has anytime to listen or hear out anyone nowadays.

       Something engraved deep inside me doesn't let me ignore my friends. It may sound funny to some people how friends you made over the net could be of so much importance to you. But well if you take a look at it , it can be stupid if you think net is just for time-pass and fun , and on the other hand if you believe that there are people like you out there who aren't here just for killing their time, you actually end up with pretty close bonds. Over time I have made a whole lot of friends , some of them are still there with me , which is a proof enough for me to believe that all aren't the same. You never know who gets to be your close friend and who doesn't , it ain't like we are choosing close friends when we meet someone. Relations take a bit of trust , indeed trust is all thats required for a strong relationship. It grows as time passes. And you realize your friends when you are in a real crisis. Thats when they show the reality , who stands by you and who doesn't.

      I always took everything in a way thinking I have nothing to loose in trusting someone, thou some have had the will to exploit it to the fullest, I've got friends who will be there if I need. Since I haven't made much of a great bonding with friends I've actually seen or met , there are a lot of people who know me better out there in this world, who haven't even seen me once. Is that a good or bad thing? I just don't know. But I hate it when people don't take up advices which I give for their own good (I guess) but then again that doesn't mean I ditch them for not listening. I try convincing them not to do , but in the end I end up supporting them for a cause which I don't believe in. But then there is a saying like, "I don't oppose my friend , but his/her actions" so guess I'm left with no other choice but to support.

          It's real bad when friends fail to understand you , after all the time you've spent with them , listening to everything they had to say , and doing whatever you can for them. When you need someone to just understand the state of mind you are in , theres just none there or rather the one who should be understand doesn't understand , cause that person is obsessed with their own needs. Now when I think of it, doesn't it make me sound selfish as well , (bah , this sucks :/). But I keep withering in the mood that I'm in, which I guess is a bad thing. In a pleasant mood , I'm so much of an optimist , but when low I turn out to be more of a pessimist.

        When the bond is so strong you can do anything for a friend na, that maybe just what I did. But I don't even know how to feel about it. Whether that person reads this or not is a big deal, if he/she reads I just want them to understand just how important you are and how much of trust I've placed in you. Giving out passwords of things which are pretty important to you believing in them is trust na. You can do it if there ain't anything in there that you wouldn't want anyone else to see. But then if there is? Would you give it to anyone unless you really trust them to stick to  their words? And still if they think otherwise what can you do?

           Experience has shown me different kinds of friends as well , I've written on them too , but guess none really saw it as from Indi vine cause I think I posted it at some unearthly hour. And just in case you wanna read it. Then here is the link to it , Friend You Say , and also do comment if you feel like, doesn't have to be appraisals you know, I'm trying to improve myself and without help from any of you my dear fellow bloggers I can't. So feel free to point out any mistake you see and suggest anything you feel like. I'd be more than happy to be enlightened with new ideas. I'm not even sure if I wrote what I came to write on , but this should be enough. All or nothing , its all for a friend (in general) , one that fails to understand what they mean to me, and overlooks my trust in them just cause of the situation they are left to face with.

Recurrence

Guess what happened again,
I think I foresaw the future,
It's all coming back to me now,
Is this really whats in store?

The same old me standing,
In the same old situation,
Facing the same problems,
That once led to the detachment

Guess what I learned from it,
People are too darn selfish,
That they'll do anything,
To get what the really desire

They just set the target,
Take any path to achieve,
Then walk on ahead happily,
Forgetting the path they used

I believe in promises,
I know what you desire,
So will I be just thrown away,
Just like back then

What happens now resides with you,
The decisions are yours,
What happens to me now,
Is left for you to choose

I shall hold on to my faith,
Till the very end,
With belief that,
You ain't like the rest

May this not be what I think it is,
Just another recurrence,
Of the dreadful relationships,
That need to be long left behind

The refections that you see,
Reflect your past out loud,
The recurrence of the past,
Might just be inevitable

Friend You Say?

By now I've realized,
Why you come to me,
By now I've realized,
All you need is a favor

When I see you name,
When the phone rings,
I wonder what now,
What do you want now

But who am I to you,
Am I friend or just a genie?
Why do you call me now,
Cause you're sure I'll help?

By now i've realized,
Why you come to me,
By now I've realized,
All you need is somebody

When I see you calling,
I'm pretty much sure,
That you feel alone,
And you just wanna talk

But who am I to you,
Am I a friend or a time-pass,
Why do you call me now,
Cause you think I fell for you?

Just cause I let you,
Doesn't mean I'm dumb,
Or will you make sure,
That I really was dumb?

Confusion

As of now been writing poems rather than anything else. But well there's this confusion that's been bugging me for quite a while now. Showed a bit of it in State of Mind -I . But seriously confused about anything and everything that I have no clue as to what to do. Sometimes feel like good at something but at times like good for nothing. What do I even do?

      I keep loosing focus from anything that I do and end up nowhere. Now with the job also on mind I'm not goin anywhere. Sometimes feel like editing photos at times like clicking them, then at times like learning to dance or learn playing a guitar. Where am I even headed to? I know not. I like to blog as well but I'm nowhere good cause I never had that habit of reading. All I do is simply pen down what I feel at that instant or some experience.

       So here I stand right now confused an unable to decide as to what I should do. Not even knowing whats best for me right now. Whether to keep going on forward in this state or to try to improve at something, which is pretty much unlikely to happen. So anyone has any suggestions as to what to do?

     Can just link up to some of the few pictures I took if you may want to see.
Put what I thought to be nice on a page, so much for sorting pictures. For what began with a phone , has now got stronger with a good digital camera. Will just leave out a DSLR for now , as I'm still not familiar to anything that basically all photographers should be knowing. Dang I'm so confused. Nevertheless I'll still keep doing what I feel like when I feel like anyway. Have to kill time somehow na. 

Well here's the page Sank-R Photography
Thats the Fb page :)