Friday, January 10, 2014

The Curse


      This doesn't come as a surprise, for the fact that I'm even writing here is proof of the curse that hath befallen over me for quite the while, for all I wanted to write about was a poem and ended up stuck halfway through and here I am writing a blog post maybe?

              Oh yeah, "The Curse" , it ain't nothing out of the ordinary really, maybe you too may have had similar experiences in your own lives. But to put it in a line, it goes like this : " Everything that I wish for with all my heart, the exact opposite of it happens and everything I wish for wishing the opposite so that I get the desired result, those get granted." , pretty much the exact of what " The Alchemist" would've had to say. This is one hell of a curse that I've been aware of since school days, and I did try to get the effects to work in my favor only for the undesired outcome.

             I've never wanted to do Engineering, that I did. Thought I'll clear through with only the first year being a hurdle and here I am stuck with all the rest of the semesters instead. Physics and Chemistry were almost a sure failure and that I expected, but I passed. While in the rest of the semesters sure pass subjects have yielded me failures, even after giving a supposedly easy paper. And never did I ever imagine getting a job, but I got one and that too in the 7th Sem itself.  I believed I would complete 2 years over there or at least stay till I see out the bond period, but even that I broke and left a month before it the period expired.

           The effect of the curse have been numerous, and when I set out to write this I had a pretty clear idea that this could be my next good poem and as I finished a few lines I lost it too. But the main reason for even starting this is the effect of the curse, I was gonna sleep in fact I was waiting for mom to just call me for my glass of cold coffee, and when I went she said no, I din't make, go have some juice and go to sleep and so I did, and just a few mins later when I lay down to sleep, she came in and woke me up to drink coffee. So that's why I am awake now and writing this ( actually was supposed to write a poem) for I knew I'll forget the words that came into my head when I wake up tomorrow.

        And as for the most recent effects of the curse might be, never getting what I wish for obviously like a gf maybe, or rather having a crush on someone and building castles in the sky only for them to come crashing down within a day or two. And missing a lot of events by a whisker. And and saddest part of it all, was hoping my best friend (one of my besties) would get site as Bangalore and then would've someone to actually hang around with and then getting the news the next day that even that opening is lost and the possibility of her coming there is as good as nil now. For that really was something I really wished for, for I really needed someone close to me there, after all I'm living a dull and dead life in Bangalore of all places. Every time I visualize something in my mind, those amazing moments just get erased off my real life. Even the fact that I got a little crush on someone that I barely talked for a day, and the fact that she didn't even come online today, and the cruel fact that I missed her by 4 minutes when she did come online pretty much sums up how the curse has been so dominant in my life recently. The fact that I've wanted to do animation, and couldn't, the fact that I've wanted to join Frankfinn and missed out cause I fell short by 1 or 2 cms. And most importantly the fact that I wanna excel in the stuff that I love to do and end up becoming more of a Jack of all trades and a master of none.

       Whether it's a curse or not, I could care less what people think, for from what I see it's always going wrong for me. For I've always wished not to hurt the people I love and I've always succeeded in hurting every last one of them, especially parents and the other people I love the most.