Why marriage?

  I still seek answers. If only I had time to figure things out better, with a little bit of space. If only I had time to analyze things and sort myself out.

  What do I need? What will I get?

Oh man, somebody shoot me!! Stuck in between the devil and the sea, ain't I? No amount of advice is going to save me or calm me down right now. For what I need the most now is, clarity and nothing else & what I have is, anything but.

   How do you people even cope with the pressure of marriage anyway. Lol, when you are so against the whole stupid concept of arranged marriage and your parents are like, we will find for you xd. I can't believe that, we are in this 21st century and still being subject to that. Why can't people see that, you're someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend, and they also will be having their own. Why split apart people, and force them into something they don't want & then pay the price. It's not your life on the line, but your child's. What if the marriage fails, then what? Your son or daughter be forever branded as a person whose marriage has failed, and the fault will obviously be pinned on them. Is that what you want for your child? Is that your dream, your karma?

  Why, why why? Why can't people just think a bit. Why does everything have to be, for the damn society. Am I just a robot, or am I just a pawn? Isn't this my life too, or do I have no say in it? If that's the case, then it's there any point in living at all? Why can't I just put a full stop to it, and end all this suffering, once and for all? After all, I don't seem to find any sort of significance to my life, or any of my own damn wishes and dreams. If I'm gonna be a caged bird, I might as well jump into the fire willingly to free myself eternally. Total liberation, at all costs.....