Ramblings - ii

June 27, 2018

How perfect to be welcomed by a paper like this.

What am I to feel now?

I think I'm really falling apart now.

Almost 6 months now, that's half a year. How long must I wait for you? Are you coming back? Do you miss me? Do you need me anymore?

If someone cared, there would always be a way to concatct, even if it's a minute or maybe borrow someone's phone or anything. How I wished I could, or have a way to contact anyone near you. You've given me no way to contact you. You've left me in the dark of what's happening.

You should have known, how and what all I might think.

Maybe knowing that you'll be here tomorrow, is always the belief that kept me together and strong. Now what am I? Who am I to you?

You've given me no way to contact you, as if I shouldn't or needn't anymore. As if you don't care anymore.

The things I used to think up inside me, like what if anything happened to you or anything. And you have absolutely no idea how happy I felt when you sent a letter that day. I was so happy, but I couldn't feel the same vibe from you.

How can you leave me alone like this and go. I think I'm turning bad now. Losing my true self. Throwing it all away, without giving a damn about anyone anymore. No more feelings. No more people, seems like nobody matters to me anymore.

Why me? Always? I don't know if u can be broken again. Go through it all again. My faith keeps me alive with a faint hope, that'll you'll be here tomorrow.

Why aren't you here?

How I wish you know, how much I miss you.

Guess I taking my mind off the pain by indulging in other stuff, good or bad.

Am I not needed anymore, by anyone.

Falling in love isn't something that comes easy to me and at this rate I'll probably never love anyone anymore.

I really am broken. I can just keep crying over this uncertainty.

People say, you're not coming back. I still choose to believe otherwise. I wonder how much longer I'll have to wait to know, who I really am to you. Do I mean anything to you anymore? Is there a forever waiting for me?

Am I deserted in the dark? Maybe this is what I deserved? Maybe I should have seen this coming?

Everyone leaves me behind and goes. I guess I'm discardable for all. Is that who I am to you as well?

Do you not miss me like before? Did you get used to this feeling of not wanting me anymore?

Now I am broken. 

Nobody can save me.