Ramblings

August 9, 2018

This hit me like a truck.

A paragraph that spoke exactly what I had in mind for a while, but never quite made it out in the words it deserved to be.

I guess, I'm always gasping for the words I can never spell, the words that always somehow elude me. But these are the words that probably do justice to my thoughts. Maybe I just don't feel good enough, reading my own words, that I always seek inspiration from the same content spelt better by other proper artists.

I'll attach the photo, cause I find really remember the words, nor can I write that much without making a mistake.

But the gist is pretty simple. You're you and only you know yourself, the way you see yourself to be and nobody except you will ever see the version of you.

And my part of this was that, I'm always different to everyone. The way I act around anyone is always a reflection of how you act with me. I don't talk to too many people, nor do I want to. But I am more of reflection of them, except a few things like swearing / abusing & controlling anger and patience and even tolerance.

I don't even need tu look at most people, just 2 weird examples are enough. And I don't even know, how and why I am friends with them, but this is just for the sake of demonstration only. I don't talk much to them, nor daily, but to one, it's like no proper talk, only kinda calling stupid, idiot, dumbass, to and fro. And that's not like the normal calling, I call my friends dumbos anyway, but I don't mean it, except for this one I guess. And the second is, well weirder, no proper conversation, only thing that makes sense will a good morning or good night message, anything in between, if there is will be some random letters throw together, which isn't doesn't even make any sense. Some kinda weird relationships I guess.

 And then people judge. I am pretty much you, with a few upgrades on a few things and few disabilities over a few of your strengths. I can't be you, nor can you be me. But I'm a fair reflection of you. And I tend to pick up stuff from people I spend time with, anything. But the end result is always the same. I'll always be the one left behind, for some reason or the other.

 Every time I dream of something, and really wish for it to happen. It never happens. Like when I start daydreaming about it, soon it'll come to an end, as if it's never meant to be. That's pretty much me and my wonderful life so far.