Monday, April 30, 2012

Yesterday, A Fateful Weekend

      Still can't get it off my mind. How could it happen? Why did it happen? I still can't believe that it happened with me. I still lay sulking over that incident. It gives me the chills when I think about. That what happened yesterday. Another stepping stone or maybe a limiter.

       Yesterday was such a day, that shall not be forgotten in time or rather it shouldn't be forgotten. It was a lesson to me which exposed my flaws and weaknesses. It should that I still have ways to go before I become a good driver. The over booming confidence within me was reduced to ashes in a few seconds. I was turned to a mere child on seeing the damage that was left on the car.

 April 28 :
               It was evening, I was sitting there playing FIFA '12 on my PC. Dad was ironing clothes, and then he told, take an extra pair of clothes today. I was like, " What???", asked him "Why should I?". He told, "Then we can go directly in the morning after you work is over". Oh it was that, he thought I had to go to work that night, but then it was a fourth Saturday, which is an off day. I told, "No work today". Then it was decided, we will go that night after 12am.

          We were going to a temple far up north in the state. I never get a proper leave or time off from office cause its night shift and also have to work on first and third Saturdays as well. But fortunately it was a fourth Saturday and I was free that night. So the plan was to go at night, reach there in the morning, pray and come back by evening.

April 29 :
          It was 12 am , Dad told me to get ready, even at that time I was playing Fifa. I got ready in some time, took the stuff I needed, the phones and the iPod and a spare set of clothes. While taking the clothes, Dad saw something in the cupboard and asked me what it was. I have been seeing that thing in the cupboard for months but still had no clue what it was. It had the shape of a gold biscuit and it was gold colored as well, so never bothered to find out what exactly it was. But then he kept asking curiously, so I took it up and checked, there was a black pushable part, and nothing happened when I pushed it thou. It had a lens like aperture on one side and nearby it was written peel off the sticker. I pulled it a bit and still nothing. Then I pushed the button again, the trigger worked this time, it was perfume indeed as dad suspected,but I sprayed it into my eyes and a little bit into my mouth aswell. Then started the burning sensation, I washed eyes for then and lips started burning, perfumes sure taste bitter. That incident sure led me to think something bad was coming for me that day. The way the new day began was pretty bad to expect anything good of it.
               It was 1 am when we started. I said I'll drive. The empty roads sure lured me to drive and it was fun. Kept the little buggy cruising at 80 - 100 kmph on the clean and good empty roads. It was full of curves and turns though. I flew over a few bumps aswell in the process. I wasn't pretty sure of the road anyway so at one point, I went straight and I saw a 90 degree turn board, and I jammed the brakes to end up in the middle of the road with only option to turn left or right. I had pretty much enough of driving then. The next turn was also freaky and confusing and after that I switched places with the driver thinking I'll sleep then on the back seat. It wasn't quite a sleep, he kept throwing me back and forth with his driving, that I barely slept.

           Woke up when we reached there, or rather I rose up when dad called, I was semi conscious thou. It was 5 am. Got a room in a lodge, took one with a bathroom. What an untidy room, the bed was so stained that you wouldn't even feel like sitting down on it. Had a quick bath and went to temple. There was a long queue of devotees waiting to enter the main temple. Waited and waited and finally got in, prayed well and went back.

          Dad and driver had some breakfast, I skipped as there was nothing to my liking there. Had a glass of coffee. Since I never drink anything hot, cooled down the coffee and slowly sipped it in. It was a good coffee after all. Then went back to car. Dad asked me if I were driving, I felt pretty strained on my eyes , and the lack of sleep and the perfume were showing its effects, I told no thinking I'll try to sleep. And Dad drove for a bit, and even he felt sleepy, asked me if I want to drive? I was pretty unsure but then thought I'll drive. It was not a good decision after all.

       I was driving pretty much like how I was driving at night. A bit too fast even for me. And to avoid the rolling I barely missed hitting a tempo as I was in the centre of the road taking in the curve. But luck soon ran out for me. I was following a Bolero and thought I will not overtake it, and will keep following it. Unfortunately in a small town it overtook an auto and went, I was following it and while I was overtaking I saw an Ace come up from the other side. But there was enough space for me to go through, so I din't care and kept going ahead. But suddenly the auto turned right, I couldn't do a thing. The rear view mirror hit the auto and folded in. I thought I'll not stop there thinking its only the mirror and went ahead. But dad told me to stop further ahead and I did, the left side was pretty much gone. I had enough of driving then. I felt too bad to continue driving then. Still din't know how. Maybe I missed the auto slowing down. Maybe I was not focusing much to see it slowing down in the centre of the road. I never expected it to turn seeing the vehicle coming from the opposite direction. But maybe it was my fault for not anticipating this from a typical auto driver in my state. All of the turn without looking left or right.

      Now I'm condemned with this accident which i could've avoided if I were a bit more careful. And Dad told, its cause I don't drive regularly , "When you drive after a long time, you tend to drive faster". Guess he is right on that, I wasn't driving slow at all, and that too on unknown roads. How stupid of me. And I should have seen the auto slowing and stopped behind it. Thats what he felt. But actually I never saw the auto slowing or my senses never grasped it. Nevertheless  it was my mistake and dad has to pay for it by fixing up the car. And that leaves me with no way to go to work than by bus, which is so unpredictable and tiring.

      Well in the end , another day , another experience. Though left in a sulky mood, I have to get over it soon and start driving on a regular basis to be a better driver. Thank God that none got hurt and it was just a minor hit and run type of accident. So yesterday was left a fateful weekend indeed.


Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Love You Dad

Oh thinking about you,
Makes me melt right now,
Cause you were always there,
From beginning to the end

Daddy you were always there,
Looking out for me,
Keeping me safe and sound.
From the perils that arose

Oh I'm falling right now,
Deep into memories,
Those light up my life,
From the dark to day

Daddy you are all that I want,
To stay alive in this world,
Even when there no reason,
Thats worth living for

P.S - Never wrote this for the contest , the words flowed in out of nowhere and then thought why not let it in aswell as multiple entries are allowed  after all its about family memories after all.

This entry is a part of the contest at in association with

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

The Reason

The reasons are pretty lost,
The needs gone low,
Fading out each day,
Into black and white

The addiction is lost,
The need to go online,
Has lost the cause,
Cause ignorance is bliss

You still pretend to care,
You still pretend to need,
Like a baby in his age,
Crying for his favorite toy

The reason was you,
Back then and now,
The reason is you,
Embedded in mind

Now with no reason to stay,
And no time to throw away,
I take my step forward,
For a blissful new start

Monday, April 23, 2012

The Real Bonds

This entry is a part of the contest at in association with

            Never thought I would be writing anything on my family anytime soon, after all I still feel that I'm a kid still growing under the shades and with the support of my parents. Then again thinking at 21, behaving like a kid won't be easily digested by those onlookers. I've heard a few quotes related to aging but I'm not able to get them right, still one conveyed a meaning like this : No matter how old you are, the child in you shall keep you going forward or something like that. And also this one , " Maturity is all about loosing your innocence". Both of them convey something in some sense which goes way over my head. I would rather be immature and childish.

            What is a family after all? Why is it supposed to be the best ever relationship we could ever have in this world? If you start questioning yourselves there will always be a million questions without answers. If the story of Adam and Eve were true , then ain't each and everyone of us a part of a single family? I would rather prefer believing it to be true and hope to see people united. But then again take at lok at this wretched world, its decaying of humanity. Where has humane nature gone? The ability to reason is lost to such extent that we have to now watch and learn about love and relationships from animals who cant even reason. The west has already lost concepts of family ( the way I see it) , parents are purely the ones who just raise them till say about 15 or 16 and after which they seem to choose their own paths , good or bad who am I to judge? People have their own perspectives and as far as I'm concerned I see it as bad, nevertheless people have their own reasons.

        I have lived my whole life up until now with my family, and the only times I've spent a few days away may have been during the vacations when I spent about 5-10 days over at Grandparent's place. They are also family, in effect never been out of touch with family other than those 3-5 day excursions or trips from college and school. Maybe I never got a proper chance to miss home cause of this, at times feel that I thing I really missed would be a hostel life. Never had the chance to live that life, when I hear from friends and their experiences it makes me miss that life, and also the feeling of missing home. Though I would never prefer being anywhere but home. Home is where I exist, the one place where I actually burst into tears and anger. The rest of the world sees me calm and quite, not so outgoing nature, pretty much talks softly and less, but at home its different. All the fights with mom and bro, and sometimes with dad too.

                    I can still see it all, silly reasons, even now I'm just a kid and will always be my parents child. I haven't grown up have I? The same old mental state I used to be 5 years ago, that of a teen, and even the same old physical appearance as back then. I still look the same old kid. When I see my schoolmates they tend to say, you haven't changed. Should I feel proud and happy that I still look the same or should I feel embarrassed for not looking more muscular and mature? I have no clue as to what I should really be feeling, still I feel happy cause I still look like a little kid. People tend to do all sorts of things to look older when they are young, and then when they grow old they want to look younger? I'm happy the way I am. I sure deviate a lot when I start thinking of something. Well this was the reason why I hear , "Shall I take food for you?" ,"Eat this" ,"Did you eat?" , and similar questions a lot all day long, especially from mom. Actually hearing all these all the time have made me hate eating. Its so similar to how and why I started hating to study, hearing it all the time. And nowadays every time I see mom, I can expect to hear "Did you eat?" than anything else.

                 Dad is the one who has the hardest time of us all. Getting older as the day passes, yet the work he has to do each day ain't getting any lesser. Running is business is quite hard, especially one that is concerned with life and death. And the hard part is the staff, they are so unreliable and insincere to the work that it makes life hell for mom and dad. Dad really has a hard time , waking up at 5 in the morning and working all day long till 12 at night. And if there were any staff worthy to do half his work, things would've been a way lot easier. But unfortunately everytime someone reaches that level of knowledge they have to depart, as they get married off. So much time and money spent for nothing. And all the he wants from us is good marks, which I never happen to provide. I feel guilty and really wish to live upto the expectations, but something inside me is so wrong as of recently that I really can't focus on anything. My mind just wanders off in all directions, leaving me unable to rest, play or study. Having a job is merely a veil that will atleast prevent people from hurting my parents about getting placed after Engineering. Definitely lucky to have a job, considering all the jobless engineering graduates out there, before even completing the course.

           I still remember that whenever we used to go anywhere with dad, I always used to hold on to his left hand, no matter what I always wanted to be on the left side, even used to fight with bro for that back then. And even when I grew older I used to hold on to his left hand. Used to hear him tell people that let them hold now, for once they grow older, they never will hold on to your hands anymore. Well even now I hold my dad's hand when I go around with him. I'm still my daddy's boy na. The main reasons he scolds are for not studying well and for not keeping the house clean. I know my room is a big mess, but then I don't feel like cleaning cause right now I'm sure where my stuff are and if I clean it then I'll loose track of stuff. Silly stupid reasons you know, even cleaning off the dust of the TV and the study table, requires him to tell a lot of times before its finally done. He says, only the parents will be blamed for the child's lack of sense of cleanliness. Thats true for sure, but I don't think I've seen so much of cleanliness anywhere else except at dad's place. We do tend to pick up the bad qualities rather than the good qualities.

           The best times in a year come during Onam, the festive in Kerala, the only time of the year that Dad actually has a day off, or rather a few days off. The time when we all go out on a tour somewhere, usually far away. Have gone to Goa and Mumbai during these holidays. Last year went to Bangalore, though the time spent there was quite low. I'm giving up the 10 days of extra leave that I got for this month for the Onam trip. Considering the odds its pretty hard to go anywhere, as I'm not sure about getting a leave then following the revised leave policies of the company, stating those who took long leave for writing exams ain't eligible for leave for the next 6 months. I'm leaving that to God, hope I get leave then cause I would rather go anywhere with them than travel alone, even though it would have been the first time.

       And Thanks to Imlee and Blogadda for a chance to write out the best part of life ,on my family memories, the ones that will always be memories of a lifetime.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

How IndiBlogger Helped Me

How did IndiBlogger help me ?

       Let me take a look at the past, most probably 2 years ago , in 2010 when this blog was made , so much of an awesome birthday ha. Why did I start blogging? I think I forgot if I even had a blog back then in 2008. Nevertheless, they say when you feel heartbroken your feelings flow out so well. Maybe thats what actually brought me out into blogging again. All those feelings unexpressed and untold to anyone , they just needed to be poured out somewhere safe and sound. Never showed this to anyone actually , never wanted to show my blog to anyone.

         Back then I used to be online almost all the time and I used have my old phone in my hand all the time , darn I miss my Nokia 6210 Navigator , it was one of those one of a kind phones that I've never seen with anyone else. It used to be on TV ads back then cause of Nokia Maps. Will talk about phones elsewhere or else I'll start diverting like I always do and end up writing what I never intended to. Now now , since I had the phone with me all the time and I loved its keypad , easy to type and I was so in sync with it , slide and type without looking at the keypad. The thing is that since it was easy to type, I used to type all all of those lines that flash by my mind instantly into a note on FaceBook. A few lines a may come by and then I try to complete it with matching words. You can check my old blog posts of 2010 n 2011 to see what I used to write, usually poems , and well none of them have been viewed much either, counts from 0-7 maybe.

        I first found the Indi blogger badge on my bud's blog , well it was cause of her only that I'm writing like this now I guess. It was the India map with a ranking like 73/100. I felt it was cool and registered and got one for myself. And at that time it read in 70's and 80's. But then I never knew about how ranking worked here. Always was confused how they ranked , felt that 80+ rank is so poor and need to improve , cause my friend seemed to have in 70's and she wrote way better than me. You know how kids think na , rank 1 was my aim then. Though I knew there were hell lotta better writers out there. But the badge was quite an asset , made me feel the blog looked quite attractive , some widgets tend to attract me.

       Well since the badge was all I cared then I never knew anything about the site or what was there , dunno if they had IndiVine and forums back then, I never really saw or remember seeing them. And I used to write all those poems in notes in Facebook and then one day when I log in from PC , I would usually copy paste them all over here making the necessary corrections in spellings as I used too much of my well known short hand , among my friends. Still many of the blog posts may not be completely rectified. I shall rather not encourage anyone to read them , as you may find it a bit irritating if you are not used to short hand , but well I corrected most to understandable levels if I'm right.

        Last December brought me back to IndiBlogger , the ranks weren't working on my blog , so came back to get the code and found lot of difference here. Saw so many new features and thought I should see them too. Well it was indeed a good thing , and the contests caught my attention , but never was so sure about how it would work out. And the forums there are pretty interesting and informative as well. Though I don't have a habit of interacting much with people, which is a bad thing, I like the posts there and really wish to interact more over there and make new friends.

        IndiVine definitely has helped in getting my posts being read by a few people at least and for that I'm very thankful to IndiBlogger. For 2 years a blog had just one reader, now seeing new readers is a delight. And comments are always nice and inspiring, positive ones do keep inspiring but really I need to be corrected if I'm to get any better than what I'm now, which I think is necessary to be at least a good blogger. So please do correct or make suggestions, you don't have to worry na , I'm open to all corrections. And well I don't have much of a reading habit but will try to read whenever I can , sorry about having no time.

         I still remember hearing this , "Write to be heard, not to make money and fame" , guess its the truest thing out there for a blogger. Whether to post this on IndiBlogger or not is doubtful question in my mind. Maybe I'll just leave this for just the followers to read. It ain't about getting votes on IndiVine that matters , its just that I really wish someone to read, but having said so, getting 0 votes in IndiVine just means none even saw such a post existed right? Maybe it was cause of the wrong timing I chose to post that blog post.
Well wrote this to show How IndiBlogger helped me be better , in a lot of ways, like writing more to be heard, getting to know more about stuff, reaching out to the people and so  much more. So well I'm so very thankful. And I wish I could do something very useful too one day. 

Anything for a Friend

               Well what can you possibly do , when you are just too darn confused and lost with everything that's going on around you. You are just left with thoughts or confusion about what as to what you should do. But then again you really wish you did something that was pretty useful for you and all that are concerned. Still people are selfish and just think only about their needs and requirements, its always been like that. I can't even claim to say I haven't been that selfish either, but usually when I think on a matter I try not to be cause I usually think how others feel first. Which maybe the biggest mistake I make in my life cause none has anytime to listen or hear out anyone nowadays.

       Something engraved deep inside me doesn't let me ignore my friends. It may sound funny to some people how friends you made over the net could be of so much importance to you. But well if you take a look at it , it can be stupid if you think net is just for time-pass and fun , and on the other hand if you believe that there are people like you out there who aren't here just for killing their time, you actually end up with pretty close bonds. Over time I have made a whole lot of friends , some of them are still there with me , which is a proof enough for me to believe that all aren't the same. You never know who gets to be your close friend and who doesn't , it ain't like we are choosing close friends when we meet someone. Relations take a bit of trust , indeed trust is all thats required for a strong relationship. It grows as time passes. And you realize your friends when you are in a real crisis. Thats when they show the reality , who stands by you and who doesn't.

      I always took everything in a way thinking I have nothing to loose in trusting someone, thou some have had the will to exploit it to the fullest, I've got friends who will be there if I need. Since I haven't made much of a great bonding with friends I've actually seen or met , there are a lot of people who know me better out there in this world, who haven't even seen me once. Is that a good or bad thing? I just don't know. But I hate it when people don't take up advices which I give for their own good (I guess) but then again that doesn't mean I ditch them for not listening. I try convincing them not to do , but in the end I end up supporting them for a cause which I don't believe in. But then there is a saying like, "I don't oppose my friend , but his/her actions" so guess I'm left with no other choice but to support.

          It's real bad when friends fail to understand you , after all the time you've spent with them , listening to everything they had to say , and doing whatever you can for them. When you need someone to just understand the state of mind you are in , theres just none there or rather the one who should be understand doesn't understand , cause that person is obsessed with their own needs. Now when I think of it, doesn't it make me sound selfish as well , (bah , this sucks :/). But I keep withering in the mood that I'm in, which I guess is a bad thing. In a pleasant mood , I'm so much of an optimist , but when low I turn out to be more of a pessimist.

        When the bond is so strong you can do anything for a friend na, that maybe just what I did. But I don't even know how to feel about it. Whether that person reads this or not is a big deal, if he/she reads I just want them to understand just how important you are and how much of trust I've placed in you. Giving out passwords of things which are pretty important to you believing in them is trust na. You can do it if there ain't anything in there that you wouldn't want anyone else to see. But then if there is? Would you give it to anyone unless you really trust them to stick to  their words? And still if they think otherwise what can you do?

           Experience has shown me different kinds of friends as well , I've written on them too , but guess none really saw it as from Indi vine cause I think I posted it at some unearthly hour. And just in case you wanna read it. Then here is the link to it , Friend You Say , and also do comment if you feel like, doesn't have to be appraisals you know, I'm trying to improve myself and without help from any of you my dear fellow bloggers I can't. So feel free to point out any mistake you see and suggest anything you feel like. I'd be more than happy to be enlightened with new ideas. I'm not even sure if I wrote what I came to write on , but this should be enough. All or nothing , its all for a friend (in general) , one that fails to understand what they mean to me, and overlooks my trust in them just cause of the situation they are left to face with.

Saturday, April 14, 2012


Guess what happened again,
I think I foresaw the future,
It's all coming back to me now,
Is this really whats in store?

The same old me standing,
In the same old situation,
Facing the same problems,
That once led to the detachment

Guess what I learned from it,
People are too darn selfish,
That they'll do anything,
To get what the really desire

They just set the target,
Take any path to achieve,
Then walk on ahead happily,
Forgetting the path they used

I believe in promises,
I know what you desire,
So will I be just thrown away,
Just like back then

What happens now resides with you,
The decisions are yours,
What happens to me now,
Is left for you to choose

I shall hold on to my faith,
Till the very end,
With belief that,
You ain't like the rest

May this not be what I think it is,
Just another recurrence,
Of the dreadful relationships,
That need to be long left behind

The refections that you see,
Reflect your past out loud,
The recurrence of the past,
Might just be inevitable

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Friend You Say?

By now I've realized,
Why you come to me,
By now I've realized,
All you need is a favor

When I see you name,
When the phone rings,
I wonder what now,
What do you want now

But who am I to you,
Am I friend or just a genie?
Why do you call me now,
Cause you're sure I'll help?

By now i've realized,
Why you come to me,
By now I've realized,
All you need is somebody

When I see you calling,
I'm pretty much sure,
That you feel alone,
And you just wanna talk

But who am I to you,
Am I a friend or a time-pass,
Why do you call me now,
Cause you think I fell for you?

Just cause I let you,
Doesn't mean I'm dumb,
Or will you make sure,
That I really was dumb?

Tuesday, April 10, 2012


As of now been writing poems rather than anything else. But well there's this confusion that's been bugging me for quite a while now. Showed a bit of it in State of Mind -I . But seriously confused about anything and everything that I have no clue as to what to do. Sometimes feel like good at something but at times like good for nothing. What do I even do?

      I keep loosing focus from anything that I do and end up nowhere. Now with the job also on mind I'm not goin anywhere. Sometimes feel like editing photos at times like clicking them, then at times like learning to dance or learn playing a guitar. Where am I even headed to? I know not. I like to blog as well but I'm nowhere good cause I never had that habit of reading. All I do is simply pen down what I feel at that instant or some experience.

       So here I stand right now confused an unable to decide as to what I should do. Not even knowing whats best for me right now. Whether to keep going on forward in this state or to try to improve at something, which is pretty much unlikely to happen. So anyone has any suggestions as to what to do?

     Can just link up to some of the few pictures I took if you may want to see.
Put what I thought to be nice on a page, so much for sorting pictures. For what began with a phone , has now got stronger with a good digital camera. Will just leave out a DSLR for now , as I'm still not familiar to anything that basically all photographers should be knowing. Dang I'm so confused. Nevertheless I'll still keep doing what I feel like when I feel like anyway. Have to kill time somehow na. 

Well here's the page Sank-R Photography
Thats the Fb page :)

Sunday, April 8, 2012

A Friend

Sometimes I wish that,
I had a friend by my side,
Someone who knows,
Just the way I feel

There have been friends,
Of different kinds,
But how do I know,
That who'll be there till the end

Some of them care,
And some of them show,
Some of them pretend,
And ditch you once done

Some others remember you,
Only when they need you,
Some of them just use you,
Till you realize the truth

All I ever wanted,
Was a friend by my side,
Someone who'll hold on,
Right till the end

Now I'm left here alone,
Gazing at the sky,
With a question in mind,
Will you be my friend

Friday, April 6, 2012

State of Mind - I

Its been so long,
Since em stuck here,
I couldn't find nothing,
That could save me

But when I see your face,
There's not a thing I would think,
Cause you stun me,
Just by your cute looks,

Do I miss the times,
That we spent so well,
Do I miss the bliss,
That we shared so close

But I know that you know not,
The way I feel with you,
I know that you don't understand,
Just what you mean to me

There ain't a way to show,
There ain't any way I would show,
Cause you're just too precious,
To be lost for no reason of mine

I couldn't focus nor study,
I couldn't do a thing,
And my mind was just wandering,
Into spaces undiscovered

I feel like being tied down,
Laying down hugging the floor,
I can't move an inch,
Nor can I feel my body

But in your presence,
I'm in a different world,
Where you pull my focus,
All right at you

Thursday, April 5, 2012

An Experience Unforgettable


      I've been seeing that post about an awesome experience on IndiBlogger for sometime now and wanted to always share something , but never felt there was any experience worthy to be that awesome to share. But right I feel like writing this up , whatever be , how insignificant it may seem it sure was one hell of an experience  cause the feeling that it brought to me made me reach cloud nine.

            Looking back to Phoenix 2011 , which is Computer Science Department's fest in college. In fact it was the first time that such a fest for our department was held in our college , there were plans to conduct it the previous year but due to some riff-raff between our seniors and super seniors it was called off, and you might be able to guess what could be reason for the little clash, money, always the root of all evil. Now looking at 2011 , we were in our 6th semester and we were conducting the fest, such was the determination. Since our HOD was a bit too strict , there weren't too many programs and there weren't anything cultural either. Well there was a technical quiz though ,which attracted my attention cause it was 'technical'. Thus me and my friend decided to give our names for it. They had prelims cause they had got a lot of entries from participants. And don't know how, but we came out on top when the results were announced , we were like so thrilled cause even we din't expect it.

          On the day of the fest , when we were called on as Team A , cause we were top qualifiers , there was a little bit of fear in me. This was the first time I was ever getting on a stage. The quiz was going pretty ok , but the main flaw was that every round started with us, which actually was a huge disadvantage especially at the game round , where I screwed up cause I din't know a thing about the game and messed up. That  was too critical a fall which eventually proved to be the decisive factor which took the win away from us. But nevertheless we got a 2nd prize , my first ever trophy I guess. That was a moment of joy, having won a trophy the first time I'm on stage.

          Now coming to 2012 , Phoenix was back again , this time we are the seniors and the juniors were conducting the fest, with tiny bits of help from us. And this time around cultural events were allowed and a few technical events were added , a code debugging session and a web designing session. Programming was the reason I took to Computer Science in the first place , so thought to give it a try and since both were being conducted at the same time, left out designing. And also there was a quiz this time as well , me and my friend thought we shall simply try just for fun , it was the final year anyway can't do these stuff anymore right. Both had written prelims, though for code debugging it was individual as it should be. Got selected for both, which was pretty much unexpected especially for code debugging. And for the quiz prelims we topped yet again , but unfortunately last year's winner din't make through the prelims.

      The code debugging was held one day before the fest , well they gave a program split up into two with errors , had to fix them up and join them to get the result , which was a graphics program to show a clock in c++. Well had no idea what to do , and just kept trying random stuff , and due to work experience I got used to commenting stuff rather than deleting them out. So kept trying stuff and when I felt that the rest can be done only after integrating both together , I joined them up. Then again fixed the errors slowly. I never expected to get the output, cause this was something new for me. But well after sometime of random experimentation I suddenly ended up with the clock structure. Suddenly the feeling of seeing light at the other end of the tunnel is what I experienced. Then kept working on it , managed to get the second hand as well but it wasn't moving. Now I was sure there was just a small code thats standing between me and the output. And found it and I was like "OMG , I really got the output and that too first". And when I went to the other room , they were like making fun on me cause of my experimentation which made me add some code , but well I won it and I was feeling so light.

   Next day, the Fest , the stage was set, the events going on smoothly , but well things would've been way better if not for our HOD's speed up attitude. Making the paper presentations end abruptly saying wind  up. And well the Quiz was set after lunch, the lunch was being provided a little bit away from the main auditorium so, we never knew. It was time for the event to start, we hurried on and reached there. And it seemed that the HOD was fuming there and saying hurry up. It spoilt the fun though. He made the event start off with just three teams leaving out the fourth team cause they were late. And when asked how long it will take for the Quiz session , the Quiz master told 30 mins , and HOD asked if it can be done in 20mins , and well thus he was forced to accept it and finish it off in 20mins. The start was pretty good, but after that we weren't able to answer anything , the chances of winning or even finishing second seemed to vanish. Last year the last round , the "Rapid Fire" round was what earned us the runner-up finish. And back then we chose 'Gaming' as our topic. This time the first chance to select was given to the team next to us , and they took 'Gaming'. That suddenly sparked a bit of rage in me cause he took that on purpose but well they couldn't do much though. Well next was our turn , there were quite some choices and well I decided to choose 'Gadgets' , my choice both times were perfect , I chose it knowing our strengths , last year he answered it all, well almost . But this year I guess it was my turn, blew them away, din't even take a second thought to answer the questions. That was the real rapid fire. That took us to the top , victory in sight , and depending on an equal performance from the third and last team to beat our score. Unfortunately they weren't able to do much. Which left us the winners. I felt like I conquered the world (hehe) . That was the way I answered the questions. Winning two trophies this time for the events I took part in, that is really something. The way I felt , I can never express. A feeling of a complete victory , winning two out of two.

      Those moments will be etched in my memories forever. The best days of life. My sole achievements that I could brag about. Never again will I get a chance.

This post is the official entry to Mahindra XUV500 contest ‘Incredible Stories !’

Right Now

I been sitting for too long,
I been doing nothing so long,
Where did my thoughts go now,
Where is my mind lost now

Why can't I concentrate,
Why can't I hold this tight,
Where is my focus now,
Where is my will gone now

What doesn't hurt you,
Makes you wonder,
If you've gotten stronger,
And not that it was weaker

I'm loosing it right now,
Gonna blow up right now,
Being scolded just now,
For not going there now

What din't matter then,
Makes you cry now,
Cause you din't care then,
And realize its worth just now

But people don't even care now,
They don't even bother,
Just to spend some time now,
To show some love and care now

What din't go to you head then,
Din't mean nothing back then,
But it made you what you're right now,
Begging in the streets now

Sunday, April 1, 2012

That Last Night

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 26; the 26th Edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The topic for this month is 'That Last Night'.

I tried to write,
An essay again,
But words don't flow out,
Smoother any more

Right now I'm dull,
Listening an yell,
For a mistake undealt,
With a destructive force

Where did we go wrong,
That we left it unseen,
The consequence now,
Is a price paid so high

I feel so guilty,
But was it my fault,
I was so careless,
Cause I put in my faith

Was it the mind that slept,
Or was it distracted,
The directions never entered,
The brain through ears

Last night was another,
That passed by fast,
Leaving behind marks,
That shall be long felt

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.