Unsafe India

   

              This is what I read, unfortunately read it only today cause I'm so freaking out of touch with worldly happenings these days, less Facebook-ing definitely has its after effects on daily life it seems.

The bus driver ram singh went out with his 6 friends
the girl and the guy was called by the driver and were given proper tickets ( the bus was a school bus with black curtains .. Not permitted for transport use ) the girl was 23 a very good student and wanted to reach dwarka mor.
After they got in , the guys hit a rod on the guys's head and threw him out , then raped the girl one by one which was moving continuously in the posh areas of delhi and ncr.
After raping her badly , one of them inserted a very long rod in her va**** which almost killed her and threw her out and ran away.

She was lying in the middle of the road hurt and nude.. Not even single person helped her or covered her for an hour.
When police came in no one helped them pick her up. They were just not interested at all.

The girl's va**** + small and large intestine is totally damaged and she cannot live a married or normal life. Doctor said " main bayan nahi kar sakta ki ussne kya kya zheela hai ... Bolte hue muzhe dard hota hai ". She has gone in coma 5 times from 16th dec. She is unconscious , critical and is still crying. The ribs are damaged as well.

That's the whole story
And that's what Delhi people are.
And her only fault was that she took a wrong bus

You have sisters , mothers , daughters and so many females at home.
Please don't sit and relax
Its not that small deal ... Its bout your families safety..

            And this is what happens in the capital city of our country. So many questions may arise in our minds. Like "What is wrong with those guys?" , "Are they so mentally retarded to go to such extremes?","How can any human be like this?" 
  
      Sadly, there is no point even wondering how they can be like this, cause they are.Not just them, there are lots of them out there like this, waiting for their opportunity to pounce on some unlucky girl out there, be it in broad daylight or after hours, be it all alone, or with a friend, whether you wear proper clothing or show-off minimal clothing, none of it makes any difference to the ones who are just poised on committing this deed to fulfil their inner desires or maybe some personal satisfaction. What makes them do it?? There can be many reasons, but the most important is definitely the Laws and Regulations in India. 

       The System is corrupt, in each and every level of the hierarchy, over 70% of the officials will be corrupt. This may be one of the silver arrows the accused maybe keeping in his quiver, which he knows is a sure shot escape route from the death knot. Looking back at the case of Kasab who killed so many innocent people and still wasn't hanged right away, but instead was kept in royal custody and given royal treatment before he was finally hanged after he celebrated anniversaries of his achievements. What do you expect from them? How do you expect them to treat a rape case, where the victim is alive? They can come up with reasoning beyond imagination to defend the accused and criticise the victims. 

       

           Different people have different views and different reasoning on the aforementioned incidents.
Here I'm quoting what one of my friends posted on Facebook.

I believe that the rise in rape cases these days is not because the rapists are taught to be rapists by their parents(yes every parent teach their child to be good) but the excessive consumerism that is prevailing in society...women are projected as sex objects in many movies/TVs/adverts like AXE,Condoms,lipsticks, bike adverts etc... even products like iPills are advertised very very aggressively. All this gives rise to consumerism and thus so much lust in the society...earlier too there were cases of rape but not so much...what is different from that time was that the people weren't actually provided with so much of lust..the entertainment mediums like radio and tv rarely had any such advertisements and even the movies were more about Platonic love and revenge etc...and even suggestive nudity was rare ..but now with this new era of Mahesh Bhatt kinda movies and cheap advertisement..this consumerism or "Bhogvadita" in people is increasing...leading to such things. 


         This may or may not play a role in rise in rape incidents in India making is very unsafe for women folk all over India. In fact, it may not have anything to do with the criminals at all,but one thing is for sure this is the trend and it is what attracts them. Advertisements are definitely made based on thorough market study, and its made appealing to the masses. So the people like what they see, and what they start to see now is getting more and more explicit with the passage of time.

      So as part of all this what are the women folk supposed to do? They know its unsafe, it never was- but its gotten worse now, to roam around late at night alone. They surely can to an extent keep themselves at home, but then times will come when they are alone and have something important to do, what can the do then? Just considering a small scenario, where a boss wants something to be done by the end of the day and the employee somehow wasted some time and got late, she has to finish her work or the next day her job is insecure. What do you expect her to do? She doesn't expect to get raped and tries to complete her work keeping in mind only her future - the job. If she thinks of the unsafe streets and keeps the work in pending will the boss be all ears and support her? I guess not. I was just considering a possible scenario, it can be anything. People don't like their freedoms to be cut down be it boy or girl, we are all humans after all.


       To fight and protest against all this all we can do, knowing that its all to deaf ears. If you ask the politician how would you feel if your daughter was the one who was in the incident, you may expect him/her to feel the pain, but guess what, you are wrong. I doubt there lies any hope for justice in this country now where a father raped his own child. So may be the case with them too, what if the same is happening and being suppressed? You never know the reality.


 Letting a rape happening and punishing the convicts is essential, more importantly letting it happen should be a priority and if capital punishment for convicts of all such incidents can reduce the rate then so be it. Let the words take life and let the punishments begin. People should fear the punishment and stop committing the crimes or even think about committing the crime.


Hope to see a safe India soon.

Marriage: A Distant Reality

               "Marriage you say? I don't want to get married!!!" That's how I respond when mom or dad tells randomly that its time to get you married.

              Back in those times, marriage was something regarded highly, or rather the most important turning point in one's life. I think a lot, random silly thoughts that arise in my mind out of nowhere. One of them is "Why am I alive? What is the point of living in this world?" . I have no answers to those questions that peep in my mind time and again, but one of my teachers have told me once, marriage is necessary, it determines the rest of your life. You are supposed to get married within a specific range of age, after which it may prove a bit too late considering the life events that may occur in the future.

             "Why should I get married? Can't I just live on like this?" I always wished my lifespan would be short, and everytime I keep wishing the world ends this year, the so called 2012 scenario, but its all a myth, nothing is gonna happen, that I'm sure. Anyway my teacher had this answer to my question, saying when you grow old, you need someone by your side to look after you, if you don't marry, there will be none to look out for you when you're weak and in your deathbed.


            So concluding from that, its like a wife's duty to look after her husband right? The previous generations surely did keep it that way, families existed with tighter bonds entwining them closer and keeping them together. No matter what problems or quarrels arose between them, they finally sorted it out and stayed together, if not for them then for the sake of their children.

              Times have changed, the generation gap is showing its signs. Marriages fail to co-exist anymore, like it used to be. Marriage that once used to be considered a sacred ritual binding two souls together for all eternity has become a mere childs play for the present generation. They are willing to get married and get divorced over the slightest of adjustment problems. No couple is perfect, and unless people adjust no relation can last long,sometimes sacrifices are necessary for a strong and healthy relation to exist, that doesn't seem to be the case now. No one is willing to sacrifice anything for the other. The once prestigious heritage and culture in eroding off quickly like a spreading wildfire. Small ego clashes end up with relations and marriages turn down on its head. No one is willing to adjust with their partners anymore.

                Now taking a deeper look at how stuff got worse. I'm neither supporting men nor women, both have their own flaws and play a significant part in this scenario. A couple of years ago, it used to be boys who used to be involved in multiple relations, that too simultaneously, but now girls are no better than them, in fact they have gotten worse.

                    A dedicated boyfriend or husband would be running night and day trying to make both ends meet, so that he and his lover can live a happy life, but the present generation has lost patience and in his absence may fall for another who has been waiting just for this opportunity. She ditches her now "Ex"-bf , and goes with her new one, and when he comes to know, how heartbroken would he be? Do they even think about that? Even present gen wives are going overboard, and if their husbands are away for quite a while, they may even force themselves into petty affairs, just cause they feel they ain't getting what they deserve, maybe even the husbands may do the same, in fact there maybe a lot of them who do it, but now its more evenly matched than in the past, when the husbands used to be ones who would stray off more.

                  Money and power can buy anything in this corrupt world, and if its a girl who has got em, then the probability rises further up. In fact women have the upper hand on a lot of stuff abroad, they get to keep their children and the husband who earned all the assets will loose them all to the wife, who is getting a divorce filed. Do they even care about their kids anymore? I guess not.

        Nobody is willing to understand their partners now-a-days. The world has turned out to be fast paced, and people have lost their patience and moral values.

             I know not, how this may infuriate you readers, but some of the afore mentioned experiences are based on real life stories of people I know. I can only hope someone understands where the future is heading to at this rate and what will happen to next generation kids who are already born with iPads and iPhones in their hands.

         All I could ever wish now is, to stay alive by my parents, and I don't need no marriage unless I find someone who is actually willing to understand me and bear with me and  my traits, but then again I'm pretty much sure that won't happen. So I hope to live on happily the way I am right now.

                  

I Had a Wish

When this began,
I had nothing to choose,
Than to follow the orders,
Forced on me

I had a wish,
That lay within,
Trying to force its way out,
Only to go unheard when it did

Time has passed,
And here I am,
Neither who I wanted to be,
Nor who they wanted me to be

I had a wish,
That was to do what I love,
I had that wish,
To enjoy what I did

Here I stand now,
An incomplete product,
Failing the tests put forth,
Like it was never meant for me

I knew my weakness,
I wanted to evade the hurdles,
But they set me up on the path,
Which I never wanted to take

Here I stand,
Gazing at the horizon,
Unable to change the past,
That determines the future spoilt

The questions are many,
The answers still untold,
But of them all stands tall this one,
Where will I end up at this rate?

Reflections

              Finally, I got it, a spark lost in this careless path that I've been cruising along with no turning back......
I can write again, or atleast I feel that I can. As the name itself reflects, this is about the reflections that I could see when I was in deep thought today. Do bear with me on all the silly mistakes I may be committing, now with that said , here goes.....

          I see it now, my own reflection that separates me from who I think I am and what I really am...

            "There is no such thing as a good human being", that is what I had put as my status message on Whatsapp, if you don't know what it is, its a one-year free mobile chat app,that has got all the basics right. So back to where I left off, a friend saw it and told , you are good. Hmm, let me think, why did I put that as a status? Was it to get appraisals from my friends? Ain't it true that we all like being praised? But that definitely didn't make any difference anyway cause I know I ain't, but I used to think so not so long back. I believed that I was good, and there would be none like me, or rather just a few like me and better than me. But how do I even qualify to be a good human being? Do I even do anything worthy of being so? No, I don't, then how the hell can I be a good person. There are a hell lot of people out there, who do good deeds, they need recognition.

            I can't even make a general statement on this, but then I used to think and think, and that was exactly the problem, I used to think and think alone, never act. I guess everyone must be thinking good stuff only in their minds, but the inability to act is what puts them along with the majority of people. If you don't take time to think it out about how what you do might make a difference you'll never do anything and will always remain a thinker like me. I don't think I'll change, at least not a sudden overhaul of nature, but I need to, that I know for sure.

           You are only as good as your worst, or so they say. And that just shows how you measure up with the rest. Who you are is only truly shown in the nature and behaviour you show to the people who stand beneath you. Its what actually shows how good you are. When I put all the facts together where do I stand? I'm only as good as you and the rest out there, or maybe even worse. I have no right to claim or even think I'm good, atleast I don't go about claiming that, but always used to feel so within me, but now that thought is fast degrading. I know I'm not worthy of being called a good human. I'ven't done anything that could be termed noble or an act of kindness. If only I could just put all my thoughts into action I would've felt a bit better.

              How many people actually help a stranger unless they ask for it? Not many I presume, or it maybe just how I feel from all that I've seen. But definitely if there is a girl in need, all boys around will be rushing to help er out, right? Atleast that's what I've seen, and that thought kind of prevents me from helping girls, cause that actually makes me think or feel guilty that I'm also doing it for the same reason only, and there have been a few instances where I've helped a few people and they have even Thanked me for that, and those instances actually make feel happy, and yeah they weren't girls.

            There are so many barriers within me and my mind that actually prevents me from doing a lot of stuff that I feel I should've. Its always been fear of something, that kept me away, and still is making me do so, over and over again. Last Friday was one such day, where I could've helped someone but I was reluctant to, fearing that my intuition may be wrong, but unfortunately it was right and I could've helped  them save time and money, but my shy nature of not mingling with strangers got the better of me and I didn't do a thing.

     There were this two people, a boy and a girl, they were in the same bus as me, but then when a certain stop arrived, I wondered why they weren't getting out of the bus, cause they were speaking Hindi and usually all of them would be going to the main city and not where this bus or my bus was heading. I just kept hoping they would ask me something just to clarify and then would tell them to get down, but it just didn't happen. When the conductor came and asked them if they were going to the Final Destination of the bus, they replied yes, but I thought I heard him say out soft, the name of the other place, but now that he had confirmed that he was going there, I felt all the more reluctant to ask him anything. And I certainly could make out that he was going somewhere in a hurry,but didn't exactly know where. And at the end, it so turned out that they took a detour and ended up in the wrong bus after all., and I was guilty of not helping them out, just cause I feared "What if they are going where they claim to be going?", "What would they feel if I ask them where they are going when its none of my business?" . These kind of thought actually create a dilemma within my mind, "To do or not to do?" , that is the question after all. If I had helped them I would've felt happy cause I helped them, but I din't and that raises a guilty conscience in me.

          And this so called me, is supposed to be good? Just cause I think good, doesn't make me good. I know I ain't, and people just randomly saying I'm won't actually make me good would it? I need to live up to the billing, if I were, but do I? Maybe someday I can hope to be as good as I wish to be.
But for now, the reflections that I saw of myself are far more significant, than the indeterministic future in which I may or may not exist.


                                            "Actions speak louder than words".
        

iPhone Apps Thanksgiving Sale

               Not until last year did I know that there existed a day called "Thanksgiving Day", and the so called Black Friday. My friend was like Black Friday is on, the special day of the year when you get stuff for free and with huge discounts. He did manage to download lots of games for free as well last year especially Gameloft games. They do put up quite a few apps for free and lots on discount.

Guess what I found this time, don't waste time, cause its a once in a lifetime offer on some of these apps , let me just list out a few that caught my attention.

Asphalt 7 : Heat : Free on iOS - Link
                             Rs 55 on Android - Link

Fifa 13 : $ 2.99 / Rs 170 on iOS - Link
       
Real Football 13 :  Free on iOS  - Link

                              Free on Android - Link


Amazing Spiderman : Rs 55 / $ 0.99 on iOS  -  Link

                                   Rs 55 on Android - Link

Gangstar : Rio : Rs 55 on Android - Link
                          Rs 55 on iOS - Link



Do check out and download them soon, cause you may not get them like this anymore

Happy Thanksgiving Day to all of you.

Losing The Edge

                     Ever since I got into day shift, I've been finding it pretty hard to find time to write up something. Even when some thoughts flash by, I fail to retain them to pen them down. Seems like I've lost the edge to write anymore. Can't get hold of any words that actually reflect the thoughts, or have they actually dried up from too much exposure to sunlight in this barren desert of life? I've got no clue as to what has happend to me over the past couple of months, seems like all I've written well came out due to the soaring flames inside me, which seems to have died out now. Those strong feelings seem to have retracted and I no longer seem to feel or ponder over those matters no longer.

       The feeling of love and emotions have died in me, I no longer feel sociable even on social networks, I finally got off the addiction of being with friends, is it good or bad I can't judge anymore. I just have lost the edge all of a sudden. Pretty tough to get attached to anyone, or rather I keep my distance from people now at a higher level. Seems like I'm pushing myself away from the social community and putting myself back into the dark pits from where I once rose out bright and loud. I'm turning mute now the the voices I hear all around. No longer able to express what I feel , or too scared to type anymore fearing the blunders that I may make that may ruin any reputation that I've had, if at all I had any that is.

          I am now swallowed by my own fear, fear of the world, fear of rejection, fear of failure. And deep down inside, all I feel is that I'm losing my edge, or rather have lost the edge already. And since I don't want a repeat of the past, which still keeps haunting me time and again, I try keeping myself off the streets of joy fearing a fatal accident with sorrow. I no longer can express what I really fear, to anybody anywhere, or even on the blog. I started writing to be heard, now something inside doesn't want myself to be heard out. Nevertheless I'll put this up, trying to overcome the worst.

         The thought of not having anyone nearby who knows it all keeps killing me inside, and makes me wonder, why I am the only one who doesn't have anyone to share anything with? I can never tell anything to parents cause they still won't get it. In fact I've never stood against their wishes on big life affecting decisions have I? Who ever wanted to be an Engineer in a country full of engineers who find it hard to get a job? The state has gotten worse now, with every guy you turn to being an MBA graduate, where do I stand now?  Nowhere, I still haven't cleared my papers, the only relief is having a job, which may have had some role to play with the papers piling up.

       Having a job is one thing, have a degree is another. There are people with the certificate going from door to door in search of a job and then there is me, who got a job without getting the valuable certificate, which still makes me just a high school student, for thats all I got to show. If only I could go for the animation course that I wanted to complete, who knows where my future lay? Atleast would have been happy with any job related to it, not that I'm not happy with my present job, which I am actually cause programming has always been my better side. But then again I've lost the edge to write, to communicate, and even the will to express the feelings within the heart.

         I may not have had a hard life after all, in fact I'm living an easy life compared to all those people who barely get a time's meal for themselves. The fact that I'm blogging itself is proof that I'm in a way better state than half the world. And with dad taking up too many loans just for our sake and our bright future, I should atleast be of some help in helping him clear the debts. But with the present job and the salary offered I know I can never match even the huge interests to be paid each month, let alone my own expenses, the only way I found to save money is by spending less on food, cause travel expenses can't be cut all the time.

     I want to do much more, I really wish I could do something to help,but seems like the wish will remain a wish in my mind, and never be put to action, the same way I end up with every single venture I take up or plan in my mind. Is it lack of courage? I guess not, am I afraid of something or someone? I still don't know, but I definitely do fear failure, I am afraid to take that all important step forward that may determine the future. In fact being single, I don't have any extra expenses than on myself. But I'm too wasteful with the resources I've got, I don't utilize what I got and end up wasting stuff and precious resources. I know I could do much more, but there is something that's lacking, the will , the determination to move forward, I just don't know why I'm not determined yet? The missing ingredient to the unvanquishable  flames that burn on for ever, what is it? Why can't I just find it sooner?

            Fear has taken me in, fear of each and every single thing. One that prevents me from making close friends with the fear that I may loose them one day and will cry over it.  The fear of falling in love, fearing that they may ditch me one day cause I may not live up to their expectations. The fear of me myself going wild and acting weird when put under a considerable amount of pressure, blurting out the truth with no regard as to what the listener may feel. Words spoken out sharp that slices through them, showing no mercy whatsoever. I fear myself the most and I'm definitely losing the edge to write out like how I used to once, simple, true and reflective of my emotions. That I've lost now, in the darkness of my mind, maybe forever.

Autumn of Life

Been a while since you have left,
But the longer it becomes,
The lesser it seems since you left

Memories may fade out with time,
But they are still etched in you,
And suddenly out of nowhere,
They pop out in your mind

The void left by the parting,
Gets filled by tears uncontrollable,
The space that you made your own,
Will never be filled by anyone else

Its that season of the life again,
When the leaves detach themselves,
From the tree that held them together,
And flow with the wind to far off destiny

Little do they know,
What they meant to the tree,
One by one they left em,
Leaving behind a soul stripped off its life

Once they supported em stand up tall,
Give shelter to the meek,
Spread out shades or joy and sorrow,
Granted by all of them put together

Leaves will sprout again,
As nature prepares for another season,
But not always do the tree bear,
The sweet fruits it once used to bear

Focus

Everytime I start typing nowadays,
I get indulged in thoughts,
That cleanse me in dreams,
Leaving the poem stranded

Why can't I focus anymore,
That I finish what I have started,
Why can't I ever focus,
On finishing off what I've started

My mind wanders in thoughts,
Of the un-happenable stuff in life,
Where I'm anything but sad,
Living the life of some superstar

Thinking something I start off,
With a projected outcome in mind,
Built like one of those castle in air,
So paper thin yet elegant

There is no longer a focus,
That urges a step forward,
The spirit lacks the inspiration,
To strive to achieve the greats

I sit still and think of life,
But then end up day dreaming,
And then time passes on,
Like a jet fighter in the skies 

Dreams

I can't find any words to tell,
I can't find the emotions to show,
For I feel so low right now,
For you've left for good

Time hath passed too soon,
Whenever I wanted a halt,
Million moments have passed,
Since I first met you

I remember that smile,
You had on your face,
When I first saw you,
I remember those eyes,
Gleaming with innocence,
On the first sight

Those times had then passed,
With months bridging the gap,
Those times are long gone,
With the gap widening

The feelings long gone,
The heart left empty within,
Words flow no longer,
From this empty vessel of life

The times were etched in memory,
For a life full of dreams,
Ones that will remain,
Dreams for all eternity

Why I Write

Why do I write,
Its hard to say,
What do I feel,
I've no words to say

I used to write,
The words that pop up,
Into little stanzas,
Which make no sense

I used to be filled,
With emotions so deep,
That tears fill,
My eyes till the brim

All I wanted was to apologize,
For some reason unknown,
All I wanted was to know,
The reason why you left me

I used to beg you,
All the time to spurt out,
What you had in mind,
To fix my mistake

You Can Call Me Liar

My daddy keeps blaming,
The laptop and cellphone,
As the reason that they,
Make up my story

But I told him why,
It ain't their fault

My daddy still refuses,
To accept anything else,
For they suit perfectly fine,
To match up my story

But I told him why,
It ain't their fault

If I told you why,
The way I cried,
You wouldn't stand,
For it I know

You can call me liar,
For you don't know the truth,
You can call me loser,
For you know I gave up

If I told you,
There was a girl,
Behind the scene,
Would you let me,
Walk off the hook,
Without a trail

You can call me liar,
Cause I hid the truth,
You can call me careless,
Cause I don't seem like I do

But if you knew the truth,
Would it ease the pain,
That you carry by your soul

My girl keeps fighting with me,
Whenever I say something,
For the words I speak,
Get interpreted upright

But I asked her why,
You hear it all so wrong

You can call me liar,
But I didn't pity you,
You can call me liar,
But I didn't bitch about you

If you knew the truth,
Would it change the fact,
That you left me for no good

You can call me liar,
For I've moved on,
You can call mea cheater,
But ain't that you

I can't fight with you,
Or girl logic anymore,
I have been crying alone,
For way far too long

I tried to get back,
Way back in time,
But did you try,
To listen even once

You can call me liar,
But I loved you like no other,
You can call me liar,
For it all lies, in the past

P.S : Struck in the head by Dawn Jay, some day today, and everything keeps hitting me hard all over again, after quite a long time.

Thinking Back

Thinking back to yesterday,
I see you in memories,
Thinking back to how we were,
I see me begging you

To think that it would be,
The way it turned out,
To think that I would cry,
For days to come

Whatever hurts you makes you stronger,
And just a little bit bolder,
Whatever hurts you make you wiser,
And just a little bit wilder

Thinking back to yesterday,
Still makes me ponder,
Thinking back to yesterday,
Still makes me shiver

SICS Foundation Day

        SICS or rather Srishti Innovative, is the name of the company where I work in. Its been ten months now since I've been working there. A lot has changed, especially my life and lifestyle. When I look back now, never did I even imagine of getting a job anywhere, but then again I or rather us- the group- were the first ones to get a job from our batch. That by itself was something out of the blue. People may look at it as a small company, but then again when you look at the fact, no company was founded big. They all started with just a handful of people and then over the years managed to reach where they are now, will thousands of employees and lots of offices spread out wide. Leave that aside and coming to the main point of this blog, September 4th is the foundation day of our company SICS. And this year, the company completed five years of existence.


           Foundation Day or Annual Day as we used to call it during school days, is pretty much the same  here as well. That only day of the year where every employee enjoys to the fullest, coupled with some cultural activities and entertainment. And this year to make sure that everyone participated, the group was split into three teams. Teams were to have a solo song, a group song , a solo dance , a group dance and a skit, with more participation welcome. Thus the practice began about two weeks ahead of the foundation day, well all this practice had to be done after work hours or on weekends. Thus the different teams started practicing the various items or at least the other two teams.

              I so badly wanted to participate for something for the first time and thought I'll take up a slot in the skit. Well our team was blessed with the best storywriter you know. He prepared two skits , the first had only two characters, and the other one required a lot of characters. I was the perfect fit for the first one by appearance thou not by linguistic skills or acting skills. I did practice a bit on it for a single day on it , but never again got time for it thereafter , cause I was on leave for the next week, as it was Onam and the only vacation that my parents get. And thus I left, hoping that I'd be replaced properly by someone who fits in well.

                   I got back home on Sunday morning, the 2nd of September. And I came to know that they were all practicing and recording for the skit and dance that day. On Monday, I was asked to stay back to practice saying that I had two small roles in the play. Well, for your information I always had stage fear cause I've never been on stage and never wanted demanding roles. But I did get two roles that actually suited me best, where I din't even have to speak a word. It was the best skit ever, talk about creativity , all credits to him for the awesome story -a  spoof one- and direction.


      I've uploaded the video on Youtube, cause its a must watch, and if you understand Malayalam and if you are a developer do see it, you'll really love it for sure. And for the rest , there are some action sequences along the way, do check it out, cause theres one scene which is still unbelievable to all of us as it came out picture perfect, for an on stage performance, it really is something to rewind an action and redo it perfectly.


Here I present before you, our skit : Small B - The iPhone Version

All credits to Sinson for the story and direction. And all credits to the cast and crew who did their best to make this a success.

It was our Foundation Day, another one will come only after a year. Hoping the growth of the company continues, and there be plenty more amazing moments to enjoy on this path.

Facebook : Virtuality or Reality ?

              Facebook as you know it, has actually blended itself into our daily lives before we even realised it. Its more than just an addiction, its no longer how much time you spend on it anymore, its what all you share and do there now that  matters. Now let me take a look back at the path I've followed over to here.

                Guess it was in 2007 that I first signed up in Facebook, don't exactly remember why, but it was definitely cause one of my friends told me about it, and I was in some sort of frenzy signing up in all sorts of Social networking sites starting with Orkut , then through Myspace,Tagged , and Mingle Box to name a few. Back in those days, not really any of my friends used Facebook much, but there were quite some apps , games to be precise which actually made me addicted to Facebook back then. I used to log in just to play those games,as most of them were turn based and time based. In some months time, I had to desert Facebook for good, once and for all, once I reached the top on all those games that I used to play. I used to login at times just to check on it, and it wasn't until 2009 that I started clawing my way back over there, for the sake of some people held so dear to me.

               Out of the blue, Orkut started collapsing, still don't know what triggered this sudden collapse, people started migrating in packs from Orkut to Facebook. Maybe it was the security issues and lack of privacy, the possibility of getting hacked , which all led to this inevitable crisis. Thus slowly got everyone over here on Facebook.

        Coming to the question, is Facebook or any other of the social websites a Virtual world? Have heard lots of people saying its a fake world out there. They keep saying its all virtual and nothing is real and to keep away from Facebook. Let me guess, something bad happened to you din't it? Most probably got cheated by someone you met online. The most common could be relationships and money related incidents. Shit happens!! Its true, you can't avoid tough luck all the time. Just cause something bad happened doesn't mean its a virtual world.

        "The real world is full of fake people and Facebook is full of fake personalities."

  You have to be on the safer side. Just don't go about trusting anyone blindly if you aren't prepared to face the worst, in fact its a tough decision to make when you choose to trust someone with something, especially cause you can never tell people apart, for all of them are sitting behind another computer screen somewhere else in the world. You can't even be sure if a profile of a girl is actually a girl or a boy pretending to be a girl.

      Incidents take place even in the real world where you get duped by impostors pretending to be someone else. It happens a lot more on this so called "Virtual World" cause everyone gets to play the role of the villain without bringing themselves to light, and people misuse the opportunity. Trust is like glass, once broken you can never fix it again. Why break someone's faith in you for your entertainment?

           You are only one to blame for what happens to you. Staying away is not the solution to this. Its merely running away from the face of truth. Be strong enough to make decisions. And most importantly know when you should say "No", and when to say it. It's your weakness that leads to your downfall.

          I ain't running away fearing the worst. Come what may, for I've got friends who'll back me up even in the worst. Facebook actually helped me keep in touch with all my buds. And it even helped me bring out my old self which I had lost during a rough transition period. Sharing is caring they say, isn't that true? Doesn't mean you should upload pics of your relatives death on that dreaded event's eve, that's going way too far.

       So is it virtuality or reality? Its what you make of it. Be real, be yourself, you'll find real people even if its 1 in 10, cause most of us want to be like someone else and just doesn't like being ourselves, which leads to the rise of these fake personalities.

Insecure

Even thou I lost my will,
Even thou I lost my soul,
Why do I always feel,
So insecure , so darn helpless

Even thou I lost myself,
Even thou I miss myself,
Why do I always feel,
So inferior , so darn hopeless

What do I even do now,
Where do I move on now,
I lay here stuck and desperate,
Trying to find my way out

People say Move On,
Like its no big deal at all,
But when put in the same bottle,
Why can't they just Move On ?

You are no different than me,
In fact you crumble sooner,
The rubble is messier,
Than when it was me

I feel insecure about your future,
You'll drift farther apart,
I feel insecure about our future,
Cause you're drifting away

No Time To Spare

I have really lost it now,
Completely indulged in work,
The time spent on stuff elsewhere,
Has reduced considerably to none

There ain't a bit of time to spare,
Even for the much addictive Facebook,
Where people used to say I'm the one,
Who is always there all the time

They say there is no such thing as lack of time,
And its all about your own priorities,
Then have I really turned a workaholic,
Who's got no time to spare a few minutes

I used to call my friends workaholic,
Cause they never had any time to spare,
And now I'm in the same seat as them,
Where I'm the one who's got no time to spare

The day passes by pretty fast now,
I've lost the track to time and date,
I've even lost track of what I used to do,
Cause now I've got no time to spare

Feels like the time in a day ain't enough anymore,
To do all the things that I used to do,
Feels like I need a vacation now,
To remember all the things I used to know

I am sorry my dear friends for this fault of mine,
Where I seek out for some time to spare,
Yet I fail in this quest pretty miserably,
Cause of the fatigue inflicted upon me

Fairy Tail : Theme Song

Utmost joy flowing within,
Waiting to erupt out bluntly,
Into this forsaken world,
Willing to infect the people around

The happiness knows no bounds,
Breaking thy free will of mind,
The fire within burning bright,
To devour the darkness of the world

All I've is a song that lightens my spirits,
A theme that soothes all the pain,
I see it all bright and clear,
A future that outshines the sun at its best

The sounds keep tingling in my ears,
Even though unheard to the outside world,
Raising the spirits higher than ever in a flash,
Cheering the soul even from utter sorrow

Instilling the tight bonds of friendship,
The value of your own irreplaceable life,
Never to give up hope and quit a fight,
Never to throw life away for someones happiness

Can you sacrificing your life ever bring happiness,
For the ones that you've left behind in pain,
Never even consider yourself as sacrificial,
If you really want someone to be happy, live on

This is what Fairy Tail taught me,
This is the spirit of the theme of Fairy Tail,
What comes to mind listening this theme,
Is everything that I've written above

P.S : Fairy Tail is an anime , n its theme song is just so amazing , and sends the chills down my spine. I can listen to it all day long for the best scenes keep flashing by my mind when I listen to it. This one is for Fairy Tail and all anime lovers, who understand what anime really is, and there are people out there who make fun of us saying , "You still watch cartoons? , Grow up!!", for there is no age barrier to keep us from watching anime.

And for those who are searching for the Fairy Tail Main Theme Song , here is a link where you can download it from. I thought maybe I should let you listen to it as well so that you too understand why I feel the way I feel.

http://beemp3.com/download.php?file=12884452&song=Fairy+Tail+Theme+Song

Shining Star

Now I've withered out bright,
Shining like a little star,
Which found long lost blaze,
Scattered out far withe the wind

This new found love,
That emits a breeze of joy,
Wrapped in a mystic halo,
Soothing thy soul within

This musical beats of power,
The feelings that rise within,
Bring out tears of joy,
Overflowing with your love

Memories lie inside,
Wrapped in warmth,
Inexpressible and sleek,
Bourne by the depths of heart

I find no words that connect,
The eternal bonds that stand tall,
Even after the worst of clashes,
Which seemed worse than doom

I see a better world now,
I see the sky bluer than ever,
I feel the wind breezier,
I feel like I'm crumbling inside

Don't wanna be confused anymore,
But I've not a clue as to what I seek,
Don't wanna be useless no more,
But know not how not to be so

But I see a ray of hope somewhere,
It seems to be reaching out to me,
Even when I'm falling this pit,
With a frail hope of survival

I can't fall down right now,
Not with so many friends' trust in me,
I can't let their hopes hang in air,
For them the star shall shine on

This shining star will never fade out,
Until the very end of life force,
Neither shall any other shining stars,
That carry hopes of their dear ones

My Sister, My Love

Sometimes in my thoughts,
I wish I had a sister,
Someone to love,
And someone to care

A girl is someone,
Who understands a boy better,
So ain't it better to have a sister,
Instead of having a brother

I wanted a sister,
Way younger than me,
I wanted to care for her,
Like my own child

Brothers do fight a lot,
Usually for the same stuff,
But between a bro and a sis,
The reasons will differ

Someone to hold you hands,
While crossing the streets,
Someone to hug you tight,
When crying in pain

A smile can turn the tables,
Like a rainbow after a storm,
The beauty of your smile,
Can soothe the pains within

I've never had a sister,
Never known what its like,
But I wish I had a sister,
To really feel what its like

Feel a little jealous seeing films,
Even if it ain't so real as shown,
But having a sister would be different,
In about a million ways

Love ain't always about commitment,
A relationship ain't always about being committed,
Love is what binds us all together friends and family alike,
Love is when you are really concerned about someone

I Hate How It Feels

Been a while since I penned,
Have I lost what it felt,
Cause now I am stuttering,
To find the words

I hate how it feels right now,
To be short on words,
I hate how it feels right now,
To be making up something

Its been weeks since I penned,
The thoughts ran dry,
And I'm out of words,
To speak how it feels

I hate how it feels right now,
Being stuck in dilemma,
I hate how it feels right now,
Unable to take my decision

This time is the wrong time,
To take up the right decision,
Cause I know that,
 I'm in the wrong mood

I hate how it feels right now,
Cause I'm so bored right now,
I hate how it feels,
Cause it makes no sense

What Makes You Different

What is it that holds you together,
So firm and calm even under the storm,
What gives you this strength,
To hold out through this life

Why can't I be strong like you,
Why do I just have to envy you,
Why can't I hold myself out too,
Am I not a human just like you

There is strength in my mind,
There seems to be faith in my heart,
They why do I crumble in fear,
Why do I end up crushing myself down

What makes you  different,
That you outshine the rest,
With the glow on your face,
That's brighter than the sunlight

What restricts the strength within me,
Which should have known no bounds,
What projects me a weakling,
Who is always lost and upset

What makes you different,
That you have the strength,
To hold your tears within,
And put up with a fake smile

Why can't I do the same,
And pretend to be happy,
Why can't I hide my feelings,
And put up a mask of happiness

What makes you different,
Is the mental strength you possess,
That lets you overcome the pain,
For the sake of you loved ones

Utter Gloom

Now I'm totally lost,
And too damn bored,
I'm wandering around,
Searching for things unknown

Is it that I'm always low,
But I never felt so thou,
Even if the words speak out,
For I've always been chasing smiles

Happiness knows no bounds,
Even if it merely lasts a few seconds,
I wouldn't let go of that chance,
To fully enjoy that moment for life

Then why do I portray myself gloomy,
When all I want is to be happy,
Why can't I just stick to being so,
Till the very end of time unknown

I try to bring about a smile on my face,
By dragging out your precious smile,
Which lay hidden deep down in you,
Like a rusted scrap of metal left unused

I don't want you to trip over and fall,
I just wanted to lend you a hand to move on,
As I know myself better than you ever could,
For I feel best when lending a hand to a friend

I feel this urge to write more and more,
But there just ain't the words to pen it down,
I feel so full of emotions and feelings,
But I'm just too empty in words to express

This feeling of loneliness has crept in fast,
Though I know I'm not alone anymore,
But what the heart feels cannot be ignored,
For it makes the judgement that keeps you satisfied

I'm not sad, neither am I happy right now,
But an instance of something can turn the tables,
Thats how my mood swings drag me along,
Be it to happiness or to utter gloom

Sleepless Night

Lying on the bed at night,
Rolling over to and fro,
I still keep wondering,
Why is sleep still evading me

This is just a Sunday night,
After a week of work,
I should be sleeping tight,
After such a week of work

Why ain't I falling asleep,
Why am I still conscious,
Why can't just sleep no more,
When I try to sleep early

Trying to sleep so hard,
The time aint ticking fast,
But I lay there struggling,
To see that its sever hours

Why can't I fall asleep,
These eyes are closing in tightly,
But I am still not asleep,
Neither can I stay awake

Pondering over a million thoughts,
Trying not to think again,
I can't just stop myself,
From eluding the memories again

This was just a sleepless night,
Which forced me to wake up tight,
This is what I did instantly,
Getting up and penning down

Ignore

I have lost the words now,
And feel not to speak no more,
No matter what you may try,
No matter what you shall say

The truth will always stay,
The reality can't be hidden anymore,
The pain of suffering can't be ignored,
For its catching all attention now

I can pretend all I want,
That I don't give a damn about it,
But the truth kills me within,
For every moment is a realization

Don't bother no more,
Of this mere presence of life,
Which holds no symbolization,
Of anything but hate and curse

For your ignorance is painful,
Why right now, why together,
Why everyone, why so always,
Let me have all of it right now

Unable to complete this poem,
I search for random words,
Which never make any sense,
When they are all put together

Every time I try to be happy,
I'm left disappointed,
The high hopes that rose sky high,
Fall crashing down like a bullet storm

I wish to be happy all the time,
Its not like I love to be sad,
Every time something good happens,
Its followed by the worst there could be

You never know the pain,
Being singled out all of a sudden,
Being close with quite a lot of friends,
And ignored by all of them together

I feel like running away,
I feel like shutting myself up,
You don't really need me,
Except when you got none else

My Life

The past will always be a curse,
Whether it was good or bad,
It still makes you wonder,
Why stuff happened the way it did

To think that life moves slow,
Is really a huge misconception,
The time that passes now,
Will never be yours again

Take a look at the past now,
And you'll see what you've missed,
How you wasted the time then,
And what all you could've done

The thought of not doing the right,
Even if it was a moment ago,
Will always keep haunting you,
As things wouldn't have been the same

One moment of hesitation from you,
And things have all gone unexpected,
It wasn't what you wanted then,
Nor was it anything you imagined

Nobody has the time to wait anymore,
None has the time to listen to you,
The flow of thoughts and understandings,
Have gone beyond misunderstandings

In scattering thoughts I loom now,
Seeking out and trying to connect,
The unbound ties of broken memories,
Those that stitch together "My Life"

A Day To Forget

Waking up to see that its too late,
The clock had already hit eight,
I hadn't slept a bit last night,
The eyelids resist to open now

The night was so long,
I kept rolling over the bed,
Unable to fall into sleep,
Unable to rest even a bit

Brushing up teeth in a hurry,
I hit the gums once again,
Hell was right in front then,
The pain of a sweet spot

Dressed up and got ready,
Staring at watch over and over,
Looking out for a bus to college,
Observing time ticking by

Listening music during the ride,
A thought flashed by my mind,
I searched my bag for it with no luck,
I had forgotten my college id card

Hoping for some luck with cash,
Remembering the words from that day,
Went ahead with faint hope,
That I can still succeed the quest

Denial was what awaited ahead,
Granting me total disapproval,
Making this day bizarre,
Throwing me hay wire inside

This was a day to forget,
And I was still expecting worse,
I wasn't disappointed after all,
I got more dose of it soon

My phone was silent and charging,
Saw a missed call and a message,
There is a meeting at five,
And I saw it with fifteen to five

What could be worse for a day,
Knowing it'll take at least  an hour,
To reach the office like everyday,
With expectations of facing the worst

The day couldn't get any worser,
What happened may happen again,
But I really hope it never does,
Cause a day like this can put me off

Childhood Nightmares

I'm falling into pieces now,
I'm scattering with the thoughts,
I feel regret in my heart,
For being born in this world


Why did I have to be a human,
Living in this filthy world,
Why weren't I born a caterpillar,
Even if life was way shorter

Where are the morals and ethics,
What are humans doing now,
Their so called capability of reasoning,
Has way gone beyond insanity

The hidden truths shall be exposed,
With the ever flowing passage of time,
Ain't they ashamed of themselves,
For even having such disgusting thoughts

The world is now stained with evil,
The minds with power and lust,
With self satisfaction the only concern,
And the will to do anything to achieve it

I feel condemned living this life,
The life of a damned human,
The name brought upon us by the rest,
Will weigh us down for all eternity

The ones with the heart of purity,
Will never be recognized in light,
And the ones drenched in lust,
Always get stuff the way they want

Just think about yourself for a bit,
And see what you think of most,
You are no different from the rest,
As evil and wretched as those low lives

I'm left with no choice but to despise myself,
For I can do is sulk over this real issue,
Unable to think and act to the situation,
For I know that this world will never change

All of you fail to realize yourself there,
In the same damn situation standing helpless,
Worrying about your own children,
When they are put up with the same

Open your eyes and see the world,
When you abuse an innocent child,
Why can't you think about it,
Happening with your own child

Or have you lost all morals now,
That you don't care about your own,
Just for that moment of self satisfaction,
You expose your baby into a life of hell

Those little ones haven't done any wrong,
To deserve a childhood like this,
Filled with fear of their own elders,
Abusing them physically and mentally

They live in fear of them everyday,
Hoping the day passes by without being hurt,
Waiting to grow older and run away,
Seeking to end this nightmare once and for all

P.S : Child abuse hasn't been all that unnoticed but on a vast scale, its still unknown to most and it feels disgusting to be a part of a society with no morals and ethics so as to differentiate between a child and an adult, in fact its happening with adults and kids alike.  It would seem that its easier for them to prey upon helpless kids who may have it harder to resist, especially if its by their own family members. How will a mom ever be able to send her child to a school or tuition class, if they can't even trust their child with their own relatives. Stop Child Abuse And Get A Life. 

Losing Innocence

Alas, its been lost,
Once and for all,
Never again shall you,
Recover what you lost

Once its left you,
You shall never reclaim,
Its gone with the wind,
Never to be your again

You were the kid,
Around the block,
The one with the smile,
That outshone the sun

You're no longer that kid,
With the innocent smile,
That blossomed the flowers,
With the everlasting glow

The innocence you possessed,
Was stronger than the wind,
That it put a smile on the face,
That gazed upon your smile

That innocence is now lost,
With that step you took,
Which leads to maturity,
That you wished to achieve 

Life Without Internet

            Internet you say , what is it? The word Internet itself was pretty much unknown to most people around. There were no Internet Cafes during those times. Only very few people had a net connection , that too those living in the big cities. Being able to even browse net was a mere privilege back then. I still remember the first time we got a net connection at home, in fact that old modem is still there somewhere hidden in the mess within the house. Still dial-up modems were fun. Especially cause it used the land line , I can remember hearing people taking over the phone while trying to connect to net with that modem, though not so clearly.

            Where do we stand now? Dial-up ?? What is it? Its the generation of 3G n 4G. When you don't even need a modem at home to connect to the Internet. All you need is a good mobile phone and a service provider which supports data packet transfer. 3G is fast catching up all across our country now, though the developed nations are progressing into 4G territory. How fast technology has progressed. You don't need to sit in front of a computer anymore to listen to your favorite song or watch your favorite video , you can send and check your mails at anytime. You get to search for anything at any instant. There was a time when Internet wasn't Google, when Gmail wasn't the mail that everyone used to use. What has Google become now, even to check if internet is working you go to google.com.

                   The times when Nokia was the only phone people used to use, the ones with antennas. Everything has changed now, the Symbian era brought out the best of smart phones, cause the iPhone was just too out of reach. Blackberrys were a rich boys play toy. And now Android has taken over the world by storm bringing out the best right to your fingertips. What can you not do with one of them? Internet surely has been a blessing, the different ways it can be used.

               On a serious note, what do you use Internet for basically? If you're a 90's kid then definitely Social Networking. How useful it really has been, none can express. Its like some sort of necessary evil now. You can't live without it nor is everything right in it. Connecting with people is the best, making new friends and connections are truly awesome. But there are even evil sides to it. Getting addicted to it can lead to so many problems. It can rid you off your innocence, can leave you broken as well. "No net , no life" , that's the best suited motto for this current generation.

                    Social networks are actually more useful for our elders than for us, cause the way we use it and the way they use are different. using Facebook they get to connect with their old friends with whom they haven't had any contact in years. Whereas we use it for chatting every single day, and surely spend a hefty amount of our time daily in front of the PC on a networking site. We tend to waste our time endlessly staring at the screen , usually waiting to see a notification pop up, but for them , it gives them a hell lot of joy finding their old buds after such a huge span of years. That is what connecting is all about. When you go far from your loved ones, the ability to still stay in touch , to see them , to hear them like they were right in front of you is what internet has brought to us. Skype has surely gained popularity for its services, Yahoo messenger surely has fallen through,and I don't even know why.

              How many kids or you readers can stay off Facebook for a single day? The count will be pretty less, I'm sure. And mobiles have made it all the more addictive. Simple case , me , myself , what all I do with my phone. That people keep asking what the hell are you doing, and recently been saying keep the phone away and you are always pressing on your phone. Though I'm not always on Facebook , even Whats App and Foursquare keeps me busy , touching all over my phones touch screen. Anyways all of them need Internet. In fact , to use and iPhone or an Android device, Internet is a must, else there is no point having them. Everything you do is connected with the net, sharing photos, locations , videos, songs , anything. The Internet makes the world a very small place, which connects every single corner of it. Blessed, ain't we?

          Just as much as fun as it is, make sure you don't let it get the better of you. Stay safe, cause I've known just way too many stuff that's happened over the net, cause people fall prey to the fakers. But on the bright side of it, it gets large masses of people together who think alike and share the same views, the best example is the blogging nation brought together by sites like Indiblogger and BlogAdda, just to name a few. If you want to spread news fast, over a long reach , the Internet is the best way to do it now.

  Connect , life free and enjoy life.

This ones for the contest Internet is fun on Vodafone. Visit the link below if your interested in sharing your own experiences as well.
www.vodafone.in/fun

The Real Me

Is it really true,
Was it the truth,
That hid beneath,
The veils of my smile

Is it the real me,
That you fail to see,
The me that I made up,
For me to live on

The fear that restricts me,
The fear of failure,
The fear that holds me low,
The fear of rejection

The wings of mine,
Meant to fly high,
Have been cut apart,
Leaving me a crawler

This is me as of now,
The world in my eyes,
Is nothing of worth,
Where I should be me

The thoughts have won,
Over my mind and body,
The reactions have changed,
With the flow of time

The reflections show me,
As a different person,
The truth shall unfold,
In front of the mirror

Yesterday, A Fateful Weekend

      Still can't get it off my mind. How could it happen? Why did it happen? I still can't believe that it happened with me. I still lay sulking over that incident. It gives me the chills when I think about. That what happened yesterday. Another stepping stone or maybe a limiter.

       Yesterday was such a day, that shall not be forgotten in time or rather it shouldn't be forgotten. It was a lesson to me which exposed my flaws and weaknesses. It should that I still have ways to go before I become a good driver. The over booming confidence within me was reduced to ashes in a few seconds. I was turned to a mere child on seeing the damage that was left on the car.

 April 28 :
               It was evening, I was sitting there playing FIFA '12 on my PC. Dad was ironing clothes, and then he told, take an extra pair of clothes today. I was like, " What???", asked him "Why should I?". He told, "Then we can go directly in the morning after you work is over". Oh it was that, he thought I had to go to work that night, but then it was a fourth Saturday, which is an off day. I told, "No work today". Then it was decided, we will go that night after 12am.

          We were going to a temple far up north in the state. I never get a proper leave or time off from office cause its night shift and also have to work on first and third Saturdays as well. But fortunately it was a fourth Saturday and I was free that night. So the plan was to go at night, reach there in the morning, pray and come back by evening.

April 29 :
          It was 12 am , Dad told me to get ready, even at that time I was playing Fifa. I got ready in some time, took the stuff I needed, the phones and the iPod and a spare set of clothes. While taking the clothes, Dad saw something in the cupboard and asked me what it was. I have been seeing that thing in the cupboard for months but still had no clue what it was. It had the shape of a gold biscuit and it was gold colored as well, so never bothered to find out what exactly it was. But then he kept asking curiously, so I took it up and checked, there was a black pushable part, and nothing happened when I pushed it thou. It had a lens like aperture on one side and nearby it was written peel off the sticker. I pulled it a bit and still nothing. Then I pushed the button again, the trigger worked this time, it was perfume indeed as dad suspected,but I sprayed it into my eyes and a little bit into my mouth aswell. Then started the burning sensation, I washed eyes for then and lips started burning, perfumes sure taste bitter. That incident sure led me to think something bad was coming for me that day. The way the new day began was pretty bad to expect anything good of it.
               It was 1 am when we started. I said I'll drive. The empty roads sure lured me to drive and it was fun. Kept the little buggy cruising at 80 - 100 kmph on the clean and good empty roads. It was full of curves and turns though. I flew over a few bumps aswell in the process. I wasn't pretty sure of the road anyway so at one point, I went straight and I saw a 90 degree turn board, and I jammed the brakes to end up in the middle of the road with only option to turn left or right. I had pretty much enough of driving then. The next turn was also freaky and confusing and after that I switched places with the driver thinking I'll sleep then on the back seat. It wasn't quite a sleep, he kept throwing me back and forth with his driving, that I barely slept.

           Woke up when we reached there, or rather I rose up when dad called, I was semi conscious thou. It was 5 am. Got a room in a lodge, took one with a bathroom. What an untidy room, the bed was so stained that you wouldn't even feel like sitting down on it. Had a quick bath and went to temple. There was a long queue of devotees waiting to enter the main temple. Waited and waited and finally got in, prayed well and went back.

          Dad and driver had some breakfast, I skipped as there was nothing to my liking there. Had a glass of coffee. Since I never drink anything hot, cooled down the coffee and slowly sipped it in. It was a good coffee after all. Then went back to car. Dad asked me if I were driving, I felt pretty strained on my eyes , and the lack of sleep and the perfume were showing its effects, I told no thinking I'll try to sleep. And Dad drove for a bit, and even he felt sleepy, asked me if I want to drive? I was pretty unsure but then thought I'll drive. It was not a good decision after all.

       I was driving pretty much like how I was driving at night. A bit too fast even for me. And to avoid the rolling I barely missed hitting a tempo as I was in the centre of the road taking in the curve. But luck soon ran out for me. I was following a Bolero and thought I will not overtake it, and will keep following it. Unfortunately in a small town it overtook an auto and went, I was following it and while I was overtaking I saw an Ace come up from the other side. But there was enough space for me to go through, so I din't care and kept going ahead. But suddenly the auto turned right, I couldn't do a thing. The rear view mirror hit the auto and folded in. I thought I'll not stop there thinking its only the mirror and went ahead. But dad told me to stop further ahead and I did, the left side was pretty much gone. I had enough of driving then. I felt too bad to continue driving then. Still din't know how. Maybe I missed the auto slowing down. Maybe I was not focusing much to see it slowing down in the centre of the road. I never expected it to turn seeing the vehicle coming from the opposite direction. But maybe it was my fault for not anticipating this from a typical auto driver in my state. All of the turn without looking left or right.

      Now I'm condemned with this accident which i could've avoided if I were a bit more careful. And Dad told, its cause I don't drive regularly , "When you drive after a long time, you tend to drive faster". Guess he is right on that, I wasn't driving slow at all, and that too on unknown roads. How stupid of me. And I should have seen the auto slowing and stopped behind it. Thats what he felt. But actually I never saw the auto slowing or my senses never grasped it. Nevertheless  it was my mistake and dad has to pay for it by fixing up the car. And that leaves me with no way to go to work than by bus, which is so unpredictable and tiring.

      Well in the end , another day , another experience. Though left in a sulky mood, I have to get over it soon and start driving on a regular basis to be a better driver. Thank God that none got hurt and it was just a minor hit and run type of accident. So yesterday was left a fateful weekend indeed.

      

Love You Dad

Oh thinking about you,
Makes me melt right now,
Cause you were always there,
From beginning to the end

Daddy you were always there,
Looking out for me,
Keeping me safe and sound.
From the perils that arose

Oh I'm falling right now,
Deep into memories,
Those light up my life,
From the dark to day

Daddy you are all that I want,
To stay alive in this world,
Even when there no reason,
Thats worth living for



P.S - Never wrote this for the contest , the words flowed in out of nowhere and then thought why not let it in aswell as multiple entries are allowed  after all its about family memories after all.

This entry is a part of the contest at BlogAdda.com in association with imlee.com

The Reason

The reasons are pretty lost,
The needs gone low,
Fading out each day,
Into black and white

The addiction is lost,
The need to go online,
Has lost the cause,
Cause ignorance is bliss

You still pretend to care,
You still pretend to need,
Like a baby in his age,
Crying for his favorite toy

The reason was you,
Back then and now,
The reason is you,
Embedded in mind

Now with no reason to stay,
And no time to throw away,
I take my step forward,
For a blissful new start

The Real Bonds

This entry is a part of the contest at BlogAdda.com in association with imlee.com

            Never thought I would be writing anything on my family anytime soon, after all I still feel that I'm a kid still growing under the shades and with the support of my parents. Then again thinking at 21, behaving like a kid won't be easily digested by those onlookers. I've heard a few quotes related to aging but I'm not able to get them right, still one conveyed a meaning like this : No matter how old you are, the child in you shall keep you going forward or something like that. And also this one , " Maturity is all about loosing your innocence". Both of them convey something in some sense which goes way over my head. I would rather be immature and childish.

            What is a family after all? Why is it supposed to be the best ever relationship we could ever have in this world? If you start questioning yourselves there will always be a million questions without answers. If the story of Adam and Eve were true , then ain't each and everyone of us a part of a single family? I would rather prefer believing it to be true and hope to see people united. But then again take at lok at this wretched world, its decaying of humanity. Where has humane nature gone? The ability to reason is lost to such extent that we have to now watch and learn about love and relationships from animals who cant even reason. The west has already lost concepts of family ( the way I see it) , parents are purely the ones who just raise them till say about 15 or 16 and after which they seem to choose their own paths , good or bad who am I to judge? People have their own perspectives and as far as I'm concerned I see it as bad, nevertheless people have their own reasons.

        I have lived my whole life up until now with my family, and the only times I've spent a few days away may have been during the vacations when I spent about 5-10 days over at Grandparent's place. They are also family, in effect never been out of touch with family other than those 3-5 day excursions or trips from college and school. Maybe I never got a proper chance to miss home cause of this, at times feel that I thing I really missed would be a hostel life. Never had the chance to live that life, when I hear from friends and their experiences it makes me miss that life, and also the feeling of missing home. Though I would never prefer being anywhere but home. Home is where I exist, the one place where I actually burst into tears and anger. The rest of the world sees me calm and quite, not so outgoing nature, pretty much talks softly and less, but at home its different. All the fights with mom and bro, and sometimes with dad too.

                    I can still see it all, silly reasons, even now I'm just a kid and will always be my parents child. I haven't grown up have I? The same old mental state I used to be 5 years ago, that of a teen, and even the same old physical appearance as back then. I still look the same old kid. When I see my schoolmates they tend to say, you haven't changed. Should I feel proud and happy that I still look the same or should I feel embarrassed for not looking more muscular and mature? I have no clue as to what I should really be feeling, still I feel happy cause I still look like a little kid. People tend to do all sorts of things to look older when they are young, and then when they grow old they want to look younger? I'm happy the way I am. I sure deviate a lot when I start thinking of something. Well this was the reason why I hear , "Shall I take food for you?" ,"Eat this" ,"Did you eat?" , and similar questions a lot all day long, especially from mom. Actually hearing all these all the time have made me hate eating. Its so similar to how and why I started hating to study, hearing it all the time. And nowadays every time I see mom, I can expect to hear "Did you eat?" than anything else.

                 Dad is the one who has the hardest time of us all. Getting older as the day passes, yet the work he has to do each day ain't getting any lesser. Running is business is quite hard, especially one that is concerned with life and death. And the hard part is the staff, they are so unreliable and insincere to the work that it makes life hell for mom and dad. Dad really has a hard time , waking up at 5 in the morning and working all day long till 12 at night. And if there were any staff worthy to do half his work, things would've been a way lot easier. But unfortunately everytime someone reaches that level of knowledge they have to depart, as they get married off. So much time and money spent for nothing. And all the he wants from us is good marks, which I never happen to provide. I feel guilty and really wish to live upto the expectations, but something inside me is so wrong as of recently that I really can't focus on anything. My mind just wanders off in all directions, leaving me unable to rest, play or study. Having a job is merely a veil that will atleast prevent people from hurting my parents about getting placed after Engineering. Definitely lucky to have a job, considering all the jobless engineering graduates out there, before even completing the course.

           I still remember that whenever we used to go anywhere with dad, I always used to hold on to his left hand, no matter what I always wanted to be on the left side, even used to fight with bro for that back then. And even when I grew older I used to hold on to his left hand. Used to hear him tell people that let them hold now, for once they grow older, they never will hold on to your hands anymore. Well even now I hold my dad's hand when I go around with him. I'm still my daddy's boy na. The main reasons he scolds are for not studying well and for not keeping the house clean. I know my room is a big mess, but then I don't feel like cleaning cause right now I'm sure where my stuff are and if I clean it then I'll loose track of stuff. Silly stupid reasons you know, even cleaning off the dust of the TV and the study table, requires him to tell a lot of times before its finally done. He says, only the parents will be blamed for the child's lack of sense of cleanliness. Thats true for sure, but I don't think I've seen so much of cleanliness anywhere else except at dad's place. We do tend to pick up the bad qualities rather than the good qualities.

           The best times in a year come during Onam, the festive in Kerala, the only time of the year that Dad actually has a day off, or rather a few days off. The time when we all go out on a tour somewhere, usually far away. Have gone to Goa and Mumbai during these holidays. Last year went to Bangalore, though the time spent there was quite low. I'm giving up the 10 days of extra leave that I got for this month for the Onam trip. Considering the odds its pretty hard to go anywhere, as I'm not sure about getting a leave then following the revised leave policies of the company, stating those who took long leave for writing exams ain't eligible for leave for the next 6 months. I'm leaving that to God, hope I get leave then cause I would rather go anywhere with them than travel alone, even though it would have been the first time.

       And Thanks to Imlee and Blogadda for a chance to write out the best part of life ,on my family memories, the ones that will always be memories of a lifetime.