Utter Gloom

Now I'm totally lost,
And too damn bored,
I'm wandering around,
Searching for things unknown

Is it that I'm always low,
But I never felt so thou,
Even if the words speak out,
For I've always been chasing smiles

Happiness knows no bounds,
Even if it merely lasts a few seconds,
I wouldn't let go of that chance,
To fully enjoy that moment for life

Then why do I portray myself gloomy,
When all I want is to be happy,
Why can't I just stick to being so,
Till the very end of time unknown

I try to bring about a smile on my face,
By dragging out your precious smile,
Which lay hidden deep down in you,
Like a rusted scrap of metal left unused

I don't want you to trip over and fall,
I just wanted to lend you a hand to move on,
As I know myself better than you ever could,
For I feel best when lending a hand to a friend

I feel this urge to write more and more,
But there just ain't the words to pen it down,
I feel so full of emotions and feelings,
But I'm just too empty in words to express

This feeling of loneliness has crept in fast,
Though I know I'm not alone anymore,
But what the heart feels cannot be ignored,
For it makes the judgement that keeps you satisfied

I'm not sad, neither am I happy right now,
But an instance of something can turn the tables,
Thats how my mood swings drag me along,
Be it to happiness or to utter gloom